I understand you on the longing for devotion, and introspected on it and the need in God. I believe they are continuations of our deeply ingrained feelings from early childhood towards our parents as omnipresent, powerful, right, protective, and loving figures. The child grows, and God replaces the parents as an entity emanating those characteristics.

I think we can accept and embrace our complex nature of rationality, emotions, deep subconscious spaces, and find the ways to experience them and find peace: meditation, Voice Dialogue therapy, psychodelics, etc.

Once I found the levels of Ego Development by Susanne Cook-Greuter as a useful perspective, a path to push towards. Questioning rationality is, I guess, maps to level 5 there.