I've brought it up. She doesn't care. She tells me unrealistic things too.

For example, she says that I should pursue my expensive hobbies too, like track nights with the 1LE Camaro (which I felt I had to sell when getting married). Where would that money come from?! Should I just not pay the mortgage, or stop saving for retirement? She has also said if I don't like my job that I should quit. I've explained that it would be a significant pay cut since I have experience in non-marketable tech (FileNet and Neoxam). Again, where will that difference come from?

I've suggested she pay portion of the bills, but she won't. If she makes 30% of our income, then why can't she pay 20% of our shared bills (mortgage and utilities). I even explained it that way, but she won't do it. Not even a counter offer.

Divorce. You have one life.

I know you have a kid, but they'll grow up to resent you if you stay the course because they don't understand the weight you carry on your shoulders and your wife will have more energy for them.

Divorce will actually be better for your kid. You'll still be able to see them and shape them. Over time, they may favor spending time with you.

Nah, I'll stick it out. Family court would f me over more than this.

I would not give up on discussing the issue. Marriage and love is about giving up and sacrificing for each other. If she can see there is something good about not just being small minded and selfish it will help her in life as well.

All the best! Just remember that you need happiness too.

Family court will be worse the longer you wait.

Stick it out might mean there’s never an end in sight.

That's ridiculously unfair and I'm sorry borderline abusive. If you guys are in a potentially precarious situation financially, then there is absolutely no justification why she should spend most of her earnings on entertainment whilst the bulk of your earnings go to necessities. Any excess earnings from you and her should go towards your family savings for future financial security, your children and retirement. Entertainment/hobbies should be put on the end of the list of things to use excess money on.

Please put your foot down and draw some boundaries (don't ask or beg). Be stern, and give her no choice but to spend her income on the family instead of selfish individual hobbies.

Thanks for the input. It's not a precarious financial situation right now. As long as I have this job, I should be able to support us. I just won't have much money or time for hobbies (the hobbies I do partake in add value, like a garden and mushrooming for food). I also don't have the option of switching jobs. I've talk about cancelling unnecessary things unless she pays for them (the only thing is netflix). She said she'll just mooch off her mom.

You should reconsider the therapy option, it can be worth the money. I’m coming from a similar situation. Went to marriage therapy for 6 months then gave up on that since I thought it was going nowhere. To my surprise a few months after that ended, some deep issue which was real root cause was revealed and now we are finally addressing it and turning the corner on improving the situation.

Why don't you try marriage/couples counseling? I doubt HN can help fix your dysfunctional marriage.

I believe in: everyone pays the same percentage of their salary towards shared expenses. But this kind of stuff should've been hashed out before you got married.

Curious why this is downvoted?