Was the US trying to tyrannically attack those places? The government had to constantly answer to it's populace for those wars; if it had to answer to no one, things may have been different.

How about Russia in Afghanistan? Surely they had much less accountability and a similar technology gap (yes, I know the US supplied the fighters with some advanced weaponry). Yet, the had the same outcome as the US.

Here's a short documentary that captures some the post-Soviet dissolution mood of the Russian troops in Afghanistan, following the glasnost.[1]

[1]: Afgan - The Soviet Experience https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfqAHOpGd0g