Pixel 5 - Hackdot

Re:Pixel 5 by decebalus1 on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @02:29PM (#24641965)

who the hell wrote this copy? The writers of Idiocracy? What's with all the empty naive bombastic language?

'The ultimate', 'super fast', 'hyperspeed', 'Extreme Battery Saver', 'Superfast downloads', 'Ultrasmooth streaming', ' superfast signal', 'ultrawide lens', 'jaw-dropping', 'super-smooth panning'.

They should finish with 'If you don't buy it, fuck you!'

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Re:Pixel 5 by j4nt4b on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @02:34PM (#24642024)

Viewing the page on the Lynx browser renders the copy as trippy post-modern newspeak poetry:

  The ultimate 5G                                                                                                                                                                     
  Google phone.^1                                                                                                                                                                     
  Buy Pixel 5                                                                                                                                                                         
  Smooth, fast performance.                                                                                                                                                           
  More RAM lets you move from                                                                                                                                                         
  task to task, super fast.                                                                                                                                                           
  Sing in the rain.                                                                                                                                                                   
  It can take a splash or spill, no problem.^2                                                                                                                                        
  Power up without a plug.                                                                                                                                                            
  It charges wirelessly, and shares battery life.^3,4                                                                                                                                 
  Sorta Sage                                                                                                                                                                          
  Just Black

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Re:Pixel 5 by Svoka on Thursday October 01, 2020 @06:39AM (#24649403)

Gosh! You made my day, thank you :D

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Re:Pixel 5 by Autowired on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @03:33PM (#24642773)

It even looks a little cynical and critical. I would like to see Sir Patrick Stewart recite that.

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Re:Pixel 5 by ch4s3 on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @03:58PM (#24643078)

Is "It can take a splash or spill, no problem" a reference to the meme of the Long Island guy petting a bodega cat?

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Re:Pixel 5 by silicon2401 on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @03:20PM (#24642605)

this is beautiful and hilarious

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Re:Pixel 5 by silicon2401 on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @03:20PM (#24642599)

They should just go all-in and bring back the 90's. "Pixel 3000 EXTREME MAX"

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Re:Pixel 5 by jumelles on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @05:32PM (#24644178)

You missed the best one: "superhero-level security chip"

And the color names are "Sorta Sage" and "Just Black"....

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Re:Pixel 5 by cblconfederate on Wednesday September 30, 2020 @04:49PM (#24643654)

But it's got electrolytes!

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