I think there's an unwarranted assumption in most dating theory that some kind of psycho-social compatibility, whether pro- or anti-, is a primary decider of anything.

What if it's yet another illusion that the conscious mind is in control and, in fact, it's not really related?

The attractiveness to women of differences in major histocompatibility complex genes is a documented thing, for example [1], More loosely we've all known people who were most attracted/committed to people who, intellectually by lists of criteria, etc., even they'd agree made no sense for them.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_odour_and_sexual_attracti...