How’s it going? Everything good? Health’s good? Sleeping well? Wearing masks when going out (recent addition)? Done in three to five minutes if there’s nothing else to complain about.

I don’t call 4 times a week, but twice aren’t awkward, and once is a given.

Yes, short talks (well now that there are 2 toddlers, video calls can take half an hour while they talk to them)

Out of all the ways that we are learning about cultural/personal differences in this thread, this is the one that surprised me the most.

If you're away from home on work, you only call your wife 2-4 times a week? Note I'm not saying this is "wrong" or something, I am just very curious about it. I can't imagine not calling at least once a day.

I noted that you referred to the idea of "what could have changed that much, that often," but for me the purpose of these calls is not to exchange information but instead to express affection, feel affection in return, and to simply be in the other's presence (if virtually) for a short time. Mainly I just plumb miss her. This also holds true for the reasons I call my parents, but I tend to only do that once per week.

Having typed out that mini-screed, maybe you were just making a point, in which case carry on.

> What possibly changes that often that you have anything to tell them about on a call that frequent?

When the cadence is so high I don't think it's so much about getting updated information as much as just seeking their company ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

eh it's not so much content than it is intention: showing you are still prioritizing the other, that you're thinking about the other, etc. sort of how like some people like giving and receiving lots of small gifts i guess.

I dont wanna be rude. But if you cant find words to talk for 2 minutes every 2 days, you are very disconnected.

Maybe we're so connected that our lives and relationship run smoothly without constantly checking on each other?

I'd be worried if my wife expected me to call more frequently than that because it would imply our relationship wasn't as solid as I thought it was. Also British.

To me a strong relationship is one that lasts across time and physical distance without constant attention. Obviously within limits. But if my wife expected me to call her everyday, or vice versa, I could only assume that there was an insecurity/neediness that hadn't been appropriately handled.

wtf is the point of a two-minute call? text me

Maybe the other person enjoys being on the phone and hearing your voice.

phone calls (POTS voice) are better than text, thats not only my opinion, but also for those on the receiving end of the call

The point is showing you're there for the person, giving them the opportunity to mention something that's on their mind. It's about showing a special sense of availability, contrary to the texting availability that you provide to anyone else on God's green earth that may have your phone number saved or written down somewhere.

texting isn't ideal because you might get a response in an hour, or two days, or the next minute.

there's a lot of value in being fully present for a social interaction: when you're on the phone and paying attention, it's typically a lot more engaging than the other person watching a video, texting 4 other people at the same time, or whatever else people do in between texts.