> I just want a salary high enough to retire at some point and not have to worry about surprise medical costs in the short term. Oh, also enough for a family, oh also enough for good schooling for my children, oh also enough to live in a good area.
You've unfortunately picked up a wrong country to continue living (and possibly retire). Many european countries offer all of this, US currently none. Unless you jump into career rat race, but even then you are 1 severe illness/accident away from financial ruin.
Apart form the last point about good area. Depends on what is good for you. If its good for everybody, its unreasonable to expect that it can be available to many. That's unrealistic... anywhere
The jackpot is being European, working in the bay for a while earning a huge salary with 8 roommates and socking away savings worth a lifetime's income or more in, say, Greece, then heading back to Europe to have a family.
At the end of the day this all adds up to millions of dollars for what my parents and grandparents could easily afford on mediocre pay by today's standards.
It means I spend all day every day thinking about career moves. If I'm sittin here on Slacker News I'm not gaining knowledge or skills to move ahead. I can easily see this causing one to feel isolated and trapped which isn't good for mental health.