This is not so different from the standard sales approach of gaining the confidence of an SME on the client side who advises the decision maker.
The successful relationships I've had were always ones where my partner had their own, multiple criteria for happiness. I want to be at most say, a third of someone's life and contribute as much to their emotional state.
Between work, hobbies, social circles, working out, etc etc, I've always found relationships to fit into that but they place about no. 3-4, and anecdotally, its always made for better outcomes. When they hit no. 1 or 2, it means we're both giving up on something that's a significant part of our character, and I've never found it to be a positive indicator.
"Hunny, I appreciate that you want to help me remember what needs doing, but it's overwhelming if you tell me as soon as I come home from a long day at work. I know I have a habit of forgetting, so let's make a deal: if I forget to do something come 9 PM, I'll take on one of your chores the next day. Does that sound fair to you?"
Or if your SO can take the hint from humor: "If I had a nickel for every time you told me to take out the trash when I was about to do it..."
This actually happens a lot... and then you don't get the credit for doing it, because she told you to do it :/
- Not that I hear that from anyone. Perhaps different strokes for different folk applies here? - (PS: I love you honey)