That's awful lot to infer about someone from one sentence.

> turn it into some kind of personal war/problem/argument/discussion/hate

Picking the "discussion" part out of that, why is discussion on these topics a bad thing?

> one benign joke

Benign is subjective.

> discredit the entire thing

I think a more charitable read would not result in the implication that the question was intended to discredit the entire work.

> you actually put EFFORT in finding something

Or perhaps the parent just saw this when reading the page.

> Why aren't you ashamed of yourself?

Probably because it was just a simple question being asked.