I think it's a bit more complicated and nuanced than that, though I don't really think this is the time or place for me personally to try to get into it in a substantive way.
I generally shoot for genuine respect of people. I far prefer the company of authentic but socially awkward people to superficially smooth con artist types.
If one can combine authentic respect with smooth language, they are basically hitting international diplomat levels of social interaction. Awesome if one can pull that off, but quite oppressive to expect it as a default for being able to interact with others at all.
Which is why PC culture is very often toxic: In a world where asking for both is very often asking too much, it usually prioritizes style over substance.
You will note that HN doesn't require PC language. The mods will not come down on you for casually swearing. They will come down on you for ad hominems.
It's a good standard, imo.
The fact is that while everyone is entitled to speak freely Nobody is entitled to a platform. You have to earn your platform. You earn it through the way in which you present your ideas, which is particularly true for challenging ideas.
IMO, you should be yourself, unless you’re a dick in which case, don’t be yourself. It may feel oppressive to you, but frankly, I don’t ... care, and neither does the rest of society which is why your approach doesn’t get you far. Hopefully this framing is illustrative.