Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlier in your career?

Re:Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlie... by aszantu on Monday July 22, 2019 @11:43PM (#20504241)

Marshall Rosenberg nonviolent communications

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Re:Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlie... by mparkola on Monday July 22, 2019 @11:51PM (#20504280)

I found NVC super valuable for opening my eyes to new concepts but challenging to implement in real life. When I tried it for the first time the other person got super angry because they thought I was making fun of them by asking about their emotions.

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Re:Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlie... by carvink on Tuesday July 23, 2019 @08:43AM (#20506251)

It does take some practice, and best not to overuse it. The book 'Words That Work In Business" by Ike Lasater is a very good guide to NVC in the business world.

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Re:Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlie... by james_s_tayler on Tuesday July 23, 2019 @03:25AM (#20505071)

I don't think I've ever formally studied exactly what it is... but I feel like I use this technique somewhat naturally. I'll couch things in terms where I'm stating what I think, but in a non-offensive way where I'm just conveying information.

I find a lot of phrases like "I'm not convinced that..." soften things in just the right way that people get a lot less defensive or aggressive.

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Re:Ask HN: What people skills do you wish you learned earlie... by asdfman123 on Tuesday July 23, 2019 @10:41AM (#20507068)

That's my problem with active listening. I can't do it without it sounding ridiculous.

"My god, someone shut down the production server!"

"That sounds very upsetting. You must be quite angry."

"Are you making fun of me?"

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