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Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by jmalicki on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @03:11AM (#20027903)
There's literally a whole book by a Stanford biz school professor about this exact subject.

One of my pet favorite tips: pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder (doesn't solve all of the problems, but at least helps to cope).

https://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Survival-Guide-People-Treat/d...

Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by omginternets on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @05:56AM (#20028623)
>One of my pet favorite tips: pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder

I do this a lot, and can vouch for the general approach.

A tip from the trenches. When faced with bizarre and disturbing behavior, clinical psychologists will often verbalize the behavior they're currently witnessing. It's a way of helping the patient realize that their behavior is abnormal without moralizing or recoiling in horror.

Hence the pro-tip. Instead of getting indignant, just say something like "You're suggesting I actively undermined the project" or "you're smearing your own excrement on the wall".

Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by noir_lord on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @07:47AM (#20029128)
My partner works in a total cluster fuck of an office with some horrible people (she won't quit without another job even though I offered to cover her while she finds work) so I told her to treat her office like she was David Attenborough narrating a documentary.

"And here we find the Donna in its natural habitat, scientists where surprised to discover the Donna can eat its own weight in fried chicken every week" that kind of thing.

If she's have a bad week I send her narration to make her laugh.

It sucks watching someone you care about get ground down though.

Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by toomuchtodo on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @08:18PM (#20035743)
Consider helping accelerate your partner’s job search. No one deserves a toxic job.
Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by gexla on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @04:45AM (#20028327)
> pretend you're a research psychologist observing a patient with a rare mental disorder

Maybe more often truth than fiction. The mental disorders aren't so rare.

Today there is a thread on "burnout" being a "mental diagnosis." I suppose that covers many of us.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20026378

Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by Blaiz0r on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @04:50AM (#20028347)
Observe don't absorb.
Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by msbot on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @11:36AM (#20031171)
I love this. I will be using this from now on.
Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by dt_rsp on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @05:47AM (#20028580)
Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by aitchnyu on Wednesday May 29, 2019 @07:46AM (#20038940)
Philosphers from Socrates to the Stoics have a variant of "forgive them Father, for they don't know what they are they are doing". A person who values wrong things is bound to act bad. And its a handicap worse than blindness or lameness and therefore deserve compassion.
Re:Ask HN: Coping when your client is an asshole? by gbersac on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @04:16AM (#20028188)
direct to my to-read list. Thanks!