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Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by anon1m0us on Sunday May 26, 2019 @07:21PM (#20018234)
The way I decided to play the game was like this, "I won't be attending the Daily Standups anymore as I don't think they add value and do subtract value."

The project mgmt response was, "Attendance at standups is mandatory."

Regardless, I didn't go to anymore standups and when I got flack for that, I stopped going to the office all together. When I got flack for that, I stopped working all together.

Then I got fired. That solved all my scrum problems.

Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by analog31 on Sunday May 26, 2019 @07:47PM (#20018377)
I got criticized for zoning out at scrum meetings. So I watched what the managers do. They show up for the first few minutes, look alert, then leave as if in a hurry. I started doing the same thing, and never had a problem again.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by Aeolun on Sunday May 26, 2019 @08:20PM (#20018533)
If you do this often enough. People will assume you are busy if you don’t show up at all.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by madmulita on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @05:48AM (#20028586)
Don't forget to always roll up your sleeves and carry around some papers.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by alchemism on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @03:36PM (#20033540)
If you are in a paperless office, tapping a tablet with a stylus as you walk confers the same office space prestige.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by maxxxxx on Sunday May 26, 2019 @10:42PM (#20019048)
That seems to be secret for managers anyway. Always appear eager and motivated and then run away.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by JustSomeNobody on Tuesday May 28, 2019 @09:14AM (#20029642)
Because what do they all actually do? They spend a large portion of their time waiting around for numbers they add[0] to a spreadsheet and report those numbers to their manager.

That's it. (Ok, once a year they do reviews.)

[0] If they don't bug a dev to do it.

Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by tarsinge on Sunday May 26, 2019 @08:37PM (#20018595)
Great story from start to finish. I kept waiting for a happy turnaround but that ending was perfect.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by wale on Sunday May 26, 2019 @10:09PM (#20018911)
Yea, same here.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by iqihs on Monday May 27, 2019 @12:47AM (#20019546)
This pretty much sums up my experience with Software Dev at one of the Big 4.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by Toine on Monday May 27, 2019 @03:22AM (#20020130)
Thank you for giving me a really good laugh.
Re:Scrum is fragile, not Agile by forgotmypw on Sunday May 26, 2019 @07:49PM (#20018385)
Attrition!