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Re:Men, commit to mentor women by SiempreViernes on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @04:07AM (#19968361)
"No longer"? #MeToo was about highlighting how many dysfunctional behaviours occurred with the current set of norms, so clearly the old norms didn't work great either.
Re:Men, commit to mentor women by goldcd on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @04:22AM (#19968421)
I suspect that view depends on your gender.

I didn't mean that as a facetious comment. As (hopefully) a non-creepy male I was blissfully unaware of the prevalence. I didn't do it, see it, hear it - and therefore it didn't happen. Therefore nothing to worry about.

Now I know it happens far more frequently that I'd thought, I worry about it. Plus, unlike a lot of other workplace issues, it's.. well currently awkward (for want of a better word) to handle.

If you didn't believe to be somebody involved before, it's a little hard to work out how you should adjust your behaviour.

e.g. "Would you care to join me for dinner after the meetings today, I assure you it is merely to discuss the outcome of the workshops and the day ahead. I can assure you that it is in no way an attempt for me to force you to spend some time with me in the presence of alcohol. I would like to stress I would never try to use my power to seduce you. I tried to ask HR how to ask you out, but they got worried as well. When I said "asked out" just then I didn't mean in a "date" sense, but in a..."

orders room service

Re:Men, commit to mentor women by goldcd on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @04:29AM (#19968443)
OK - more facetious than I thought. Sorry.

Maybe more realistic scenario is just when working away asking "Can you come to my room so we can spend 30 mins updating the deck for tomorrow?"

Think I'd have been fine asking that previously - and now maybe less so. We can try to lurk in a corner of the lobby, which is annoying loud and doesn't have a desk.

But that change involves the thought of "maybe I'm considered to be a creepy male" - and that's not a nice thought to have (although probably good for me).

Re:Men, commit to mentor women by timavr on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @04:45AM (#19968504)
Just change the question to? Are you OK with us continuing in my room because blah blah, otherwise we can just do it in the lobby.

Basically, you give them power to decide where they feel comfortable most. Especially first time around.

“Can you come to my room in 30m to do blah” is an order basically, so as a result you already create hostile situation irrelevant of gender.

Re:Men, commit to mentor women by slowmovintarget on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @05:53AM (#19968773)
That's still no good (opinion, not statement of fact).

Just suggest the lobby, or find a coffee shop. It may be annoying, but now you're not putting any burden on her at all. If she suggests an alternative, you can use your judgement, but why even put that on her in the first place?

Re:Men, commit to mentor women by luckylion on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @04:36AM (#19968463)
I don't think Harvey Weinstein's actions were anywhere close to accepted by "the old norms". He didn't get away with it for so long because "that's who society works, that's what everybody did", but because he was extremely powerful. Power always allows you to sidestep rules and norms because your victims will be afraid of you and others that could interfere will want favors from you, so they look away.
Re:Men, commit to mentor women by xupybd on Tuesday May 21, 2019 @08:50PM (#19976715)
Pre sexual revolution there were strict codes of conduct. Often broken but they were thrown out leaving a void.