For example, when I did tech support I would occasionally get chat messages from my supervisor along the lines of:
"Hey, I see that you closed out Ticket #XYZ without any resolution or response sent to the requester."
(waits for response)
(waits for response)
(waits for response)
...and it would make me furious, regardless of whatever the situation was.
Personally, if I'm on the receiving end of that, I'd rather the boss say, "please update this ticket with X and Y" rather than making an "observation." It can't be condescending nor manipulative since that person is plainly exercising their authority. And you can generally resolve problems with an instruction by pointing out that it won't work, or it conflicts with others, etc., which avoids it getting personal.
(This may be why I rarely had these issues in the military, and noticed that many veterans report a great deal of confusion when they get into civilian life because "nobody knows their lane.")
"The petitioner did not make a request upon which relief can be granted." might set off a snark detector, and "The ticketing system already automatically notifies the requester that their ticket has been closed." might inadvertently imply that the supervisor does not know how to do their job.
> "Hey, I see that you closed out Ticket #XYZ without any resolution or response sent to the requester."
> "yes" / "yup" / "indeed" / "true"
It's an effective way to sidestep having to pay attention until the person comes up with an actual question or request.
I asked if there was some way I could speak to them that would help them meet their need for freedom. Then we both laughed and the situation defused.
That's a good point. I'm fairly adept at recognizing when someone is trying to negotiate with me based on some kind of taught methodology. Because most of what's taught is counter to how you would do it naturally...thus it stands out.
Once you recognize it, the natural reaction is to feel like you're being manipulated with some technique.