Doctors who don't set boundaries and who perform an unlimited amount of emotional labor are those who burn out.

There's no medical reason for a doctor to be on-call 24/7/365, and it's stupid to expect them to. If an urgent medical issue comes up at 2 AM, the patient can go to the ER, which is what the doctor would tell them to do anyway.

I really want to agree, but there are some situations where it does need to be that one doctor. The below anecdote notwithstanding, I do agree that any patient who demands your personal number is the last patient you should be giving it to.

My aunt had a condition that causes fluid build up in her brain. She has a slightly unusual shunt arrangement, and over Christmas (we now know) it got blocked up. She started developing neurological symptoms, and the only person who knew enough about her treatment to be able to sort it out was her doctor.

The actually had his home landline number, but he was away, and it was only due to luck of a call coinciding with the neighbour feeding the cat that they were able to get the number of where he was for Christmas. By that point, my aunt with unconscious in hospital, and might well have died if treatment had been delayed any more.

Thanks for sharing that story.

It's scary that sheer happenstance saved your aunt's life. I wonder how medical record keeping could be improved to help with that scenario.

What's scary to me is that after 10 attempts at the landline over a period of time, I would have (correctly but unhelpfully) concluded that he was away for Christmas and abandoned that approach. My Uncle was more persistent.

In this case I think it was less knowledge of the particular case, and more the expertise in that specialised situation. Skillset rather than records.

Well, here's to hoping we'll all be seeing an all-knowing Dr. Google in 50 years.

A lot of offices and insurance companies have a nurse's hotline available in the off hours too to handle these sorts of requests. Though I'm not really sure what kind of advice they can offer other than "go to the ER."

Yes. My father-in-law's staff relay a high proportion of calls to him. The staff triage the requests, answer questions when they can, and forward questions they can't. The staff know how to use the doctors' time wisely. They ask the right questions, provide updates, no chit chat. It has to be that way.

There are a few special patients he'll give his cell number to. Pregnant moms especially I think. He's a country doc and the only good baby doctor within a hundred miles, so if there's an OB patient who he thinks is higher risk, and who he knows won't abuse his cell number, he'll give it to them no problem.

Maybe the patients to whom they offer their private numbers, and the patients who "tell me they've got to have my private number" are non-overlapping sets.

I'm sure that experienced doctors can spot people who are going to ruin every weekend a mile away, and also those responsible enough to call only when it really is appropriate.

> The worst have been preachy, god-complex douchebags.

Is this sideways dig really necessary? I could say the same about programmers (and I am one).

I count half a dozen doctors and nurses among my inlaws. None of them will give their personal phone numbers out to patients. If a patient asks, they're politely told to call the office, who will then curate the calls.

If you've ever been around a doctor, especially a GP, you know how many calls they get. My father-in-law takes dozens of calls a day from his office, several of which come at night when he's asleep. If he were expected to take calls directly from patients, he'd be completely unable to do his job.

So, serious question for you jachee: is it possible that the doctor you're responding to has some insight into the challenges of his job that you don't?

It's indeed possible that there's insight there, but with phrasing like "bottomless well of need" there's also an obvious disdain for humanity which seems likely due to having never been seriously ill, scared or suffering. Having several close acquaintances, including my wife, who deal with chronic illness it set off red flags of "only in it for the money" insight or not.

I've heard the phrase "bottomless well of need" -- exactly that phrase --from more than one of my family members in the medical profession, all of whom are caring to the point of self-sacrifice. It's a vivid, pointed, and completely accurate description of a significant minority of patients who present a real challenge to doctors and nurses.

My brother-in-law is an ER doc. He treats an alarmingly high number of patients who threaten to sue him if he's not willing to give them his phone number, write an immediate referral, or prescribe opioids. These are patients with real pain, real problems, who are understandably desperate for relief, and who are easily capable of completely dominating a doctor's time and attention.

The implication of an obvious disdain for humanity here is pretty uncharitable. Just as it's difficult to relate to chronic disease from the outside, I think it's difficult to relate to the challenges of treating and caring for the afflicted.

> with phrasing like "bottomless well of need" there's also an obvious disdain for humanity

I think you are wrong to make that assumption.

There are tons of people with no sense of boundaries who will make contact over and over for very little reason. It only takes one or two of those people to ruin it for the rest of us.

Chronic illness demographics - particularly for diseases of inflammation - have exploded in the last fifty years, outpacing the supply of doctors and then some. The need is now bottomless, and it is in fact a need.

My clients, as a whole, are a bottomless well of various IT needs. This is by design.

Some call it job security. Fortunately, most of those users call only during their office hours. Can't say patients would have office hours, so it's more complicated.

One patient with health anxiety will call daily, multiply that by any number. Then add family members.

I mean, a "bottomless well of need" is basically exactly what a chronic illness is. Have some compassion; doctors and medical professionals deserve to clock out at some point just like the rest of us. It doesn't mean they are in the wrong profession.