"Hurting someone hurts yourself", bullshit. Revenge is sweet. Defending yourself is not a weakness or immoral, it's rather noble.
If you go with the "laugh at them" technique, they will still go around bullying other kids.
But, stand up and fight them, and they learn a lesson that bullying has some serious consequences. You also set an example to other bullies and other kids being bullied.
No. They'll just learn that bullying you has serious consequences, and that they should find an other target.
"An armed society is a polite society." -- RAH
Where "armed" just means where people are willing and able to defend themselves.
Revenge has nothing to do with self-defense.
Beating up on other people kills you inside, slowly, because it shows you exactly what kind of person you are.
It doesn't matter if you're "standing up" to some other kid. Violence is violence.
I'm not saying violence is never required, but if you're resorting to violence when a smile and a chuckle will do, you're weak -- you don't have enough willpower to control yourself, or brains to think up an alternative.
If I could go back and do it all again there'd be two or three more swung fists. Probably no more than that, either, because that's all it would take.
In fact I think this debate would be really different if defending yourself against being bullied actually required sustained violence, but instead rather we're in a world where I can ask "How many people have killed themselves that could have been saved by them instead swinging their fists once?" and get a number probably at least in the thousands.
This isn't just a philosophy debating match; children are dying over this, and a lot more are getting badly hurt.
Her abuse of me doesn't weigh on me nearly as much as mine of her, because in the latter I had a choice. So there you go.
I disagree. What kills you inside slowly, is all the authority figures telling you what a horrible person you are for defending yourself.
I mean, by all means if you live in a place where the cops will actually do something if someone hurts, just call the cops. But you have to remember that the world doesn't consist entirely of north america.
Self-defense and unprovoked violence are two entirely different things. The law recognizes this and so do most sentient beings.
Sadly, this does not include most school administrators.
Obviously, this doesn't apply to every single administrator. #include <std_disclaimer.h>
The same thing happend last week when I run into the same guy late night. He was there with a dozen or so friends after a night out. I was there just to grab some pizza and get back to work. So he asks me if I knew anybody here. I just shook my head and said no. He asked me my name. I told him my name. He proceeds to yell out that I am here alone and don't know anyone. Then it came out that I knew several people in his group. He looked stupid and drunk. And I got a laugh at his expense. All by just playing dumb and being non-reactive.
Laugh at them, turn them in to a joke whenever they attempt to do something to you, and eventually they'll realize that people are laughing at them, not what they are doing to you.
I did have to get physical a few times but it was only the odd extreme case where this didn't work.
The trick is to emasculate them. Show them you don't care. When they insult you or hurt you, laugh at them. You just have to mean it.
I was bullied for years until I realized one day why they bullied me - I smelled of fear, and I didn't react, I just stood there and looked at them. Suddenly it all made sense, they were like braindead sharks to blood.
So I started smiling and laughing at them.
Took the wind right out of their sails, and they weren't able to force me to come down to their level.
I won.
Play their game and they still win on some level, because hurting another person hurts yourself.