Ask HN: How do you handle your mental lows?
It usually lasts 1-3 days making me unable to be productive. It used to be worse and last week(s). What I learned is to remember how these lows feel. Nowadays I know that "It's just another one of those, it shall pass". I also try to get very analytical when it hits and find out why do I feel like that.
I have a few questions.
(1) Is this normal? If I take a look at, let's say famous, entrepreneurs on Twitter, for example, most of them seem to know what to do and seem to be very pragmatic. Whereas I just often feel completely lost and I feel like I'm throwing my life away and not being good enough. But the things is I love this! I love the whole process of creating new things and figuring them out. I can't imagine myself doing anything else. It's just these lows that I don't know how to handle.
(2) If you experience similar feelings do you have any tips on how to handle them?
2. Rest and look for people that can help you out, or solutions. Life is tedious and hard, we must fight everyday. If people respect that in order to grow your muscle, you must relax and chill when you have fatigue, why shouldn't you when you have mental fatigue?
I noticed I feel like you do basically every December through March, so much so that my git commits and activity even look to be seasonal. If this is some seasonal thing by chance, then get outside for at least 30min a day and/or get one of those lamps. Don't work in dark places or rooms either.
[0]https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-di...
A quick thought experiment - when the people you admire aren't tweeting do you assume that's because they're busy being successful and getting things right, or because they're also feeling like they're worthless and getting it wrong as you do? If it's the former, why are you assuming that?
When all you see is the successes it's very easy to assume it's like that all the time, but for pretty much all the entrepreneurs (and just people in general) that's not the case. Everyone has periods of low productivity and depression to some extent. A lot of people on social media tend not to share the bad times. That's all.
The solution for me was to realise that there's no rush. If I'm not productive for a while that's OK. I'm better off when I don't stress over how productive I am, and taking the pressure off is actually good for me mentally. Of course, that's not always possible, especially in a start up without a huge amount of capital. I don't have the answer if that's the case.
Otherwise, it's probably normal (and to be fair since something like 20% of the US population will have depression at some point, even long and/or severe episodes seem to be fairly normal).
People on Twitter are lying. Sometimes, only by omission. But often, straight-up lying. Second-guess your media a little more.
I find the lows more creative personally. The art type of creative. It's a better mood for seeing the world as it really is, which is a prerequisite to rendering it. Take up an art like painting or writing and get in the habit of truly looking at things. It will help you see these times as unique.
Some people find journaling helpful. I've never been able to stick to it but if you're a list-making, organized type journaling may help. If you do it large scale enough you can look back and notice that you did achieve things over a long enough period.
I have a semi-systematic way to deal with this:
1) check I drink enough water, I eat enough, I had enough sleep. I.e. me and my wife have managed to avoid few really depressing evening conversations by looking at each other and saying "We are too tired to talk!", drinking few cups of water, taking a shower and going to bed early. Next day is then so much better :-)
2) I try to remember, when I was outside last time for an hour-long walk? When was the last time I have seem my friends? If the answer is "long ago", I make plans to change this.
3) so far these instances were far-apart enough, but I started to keep a journal, and review it whether it is time to go find a therapist :-)
W.r.t. enterpreneurs on Twitter, I follow @sehurlburt and she is quite open with her going to therapy and sometimes even shares some of her workbooks :)
I am not self-employed, which means that I have one more option you probably don't really have when feeling unproductive, and that is claiming I am stuck on a problem to colleagues and asking for help. It can sound weird, but pair-programming can help me with this, despite me being stuck is not fueled by technical problem, but mental state :)
2. Sleep more. Consult a psychologist if that doesn't help.
I take a break whenever I feel stuck or that my work is useless. It may be useless (for other people and for myself sometimes) but at the end of the day is that I enjoy the process what really matters.
I find that most hacks for consistency are external in nature. When you're a lone wolf you can slack off for days and nobody will notice. Say, personally, I'll often miss my own hard deadlines, but I'd never miss an appointment with somebody.
I mean work is just a small facet of life.. when you put too much emphasis on it and start spending disproportionate amount of time on it while ignoring things that actually make you happy like playing with your kids, spending time with SO, watching tv / sports, etc you may start equating life with your work performance which can make you feel this way.
- being able to anticipate it
- using that time period to do more introspective stuff like journalling (instead of trying to be as productive as I usually am)
- trying to get outside/working out
- and sometimes drinking tea for the l-theanine + caffeine boost (which tends to snap me out of it for a duration of time)
Deep inside you are unhappy even tho you are doing fine.
You want things at bigger scale, you yearn for the popularity which other famous founders have. You crave for their lifestyle.
a) maybe try meditation b) surround yourself with positive supportive people