As with anything else, there are compromises to be made, and NYC has a unique set of them. If you really think this way, go ahead and live in a densely populated neighborhood with the compromises that come along with it.
For what it's worth, I commute before/after on-peak hours to avoid delays. The subway is very efficient at 7am-7:30am, and is a shitshow at 9am when everyone is trying to get to their 10am start job. Then everyone complains about the delays, as if they can't make changes to their schedule when they _know_ it's a shitshow at certain times.
Similarly, I've taken to using UberPool during winter because, while it's a little slower, it gives me back 1-1.5 hours per day of productive time, for a marginal cost of $2-3 beyond the subway cost.
I don't think it makes sense to live in New York unless there is something you can only get here. There's only one MoMA, one City Ballet, one Film Forum. (Not to mention the business and professional opportunities - the city is a business city first and foremost.)