I'm not a native speaker, so I can't comment how the construct sounds to natives. To me, it sounds wrong, so I'd avoid communicating with people who demand this form of speech.
(seriously just playing devil's advocate here)
It's not a big deal until somebody makes a big deal about it, on either side of the issue. What we have is one group making a HUGE deal about pronouns, and another equally making a HUGE deal about not using pronouns. At the same time each side is saying each other is horrible.
It's not a big deal until you make a big deal about it...
In my experience, this "microscope" simply doesn't exist. Turns out it's pretty easy to be nice to people, and when you're acting in good faith, those same people are nice to you in return. Wild, huh?
Claiming that the social justice warrior enclaves don't exist, however, ignores fact.
Yes, there are individual people who get hyper-offended when you say something wrong. I've been chastised for not admitting that vaccines are a big government conspiracy. I've even been in arguments with social injustice warriors who were pissed off about being asked to use the singular pronoun "they". There are all types in the world.
Those who see the world in terms of good and evil tend to do more evil themselves. Take care that your perception of militancy does not similarly take over your own effect on the world.
Peace.
I simply choose not to put myself in a position where I must interact with those who want to tell me how I must use a language that predates their existence by thousands of years.
Modern English didn't even come about till the 14th century
I'm not a native speaker of French, but what I know makes various French Creole languages sound wrong. I wouldn't think to avoid speaking to someone who spoke a French Creole because I might feel like they're not talking grammatically correct French.
As a non-native speaker, you learned it correctly and thus it sounds wrong once you've actually paid attention to it and studied it. Many native speakers never really study grammar and don't understand it -- I'm no exception, I took a course years ago but can't quote grammar rules and go almost exclusively on how things sound to my native ear. It makes it interesting at times when my non-native spouse asks me "why do you say it that way" and I have to research the rule so I can explain it properly or fix my incorrect impressions.
You're contradicting yourself. If most people don't shudder over it, and people understand what is being communicated when it is used, then it is correct. Any opinion stating that it is incorrect would have to rely on authoritative sources, which do not exist in the English language.
You fall into the trap of confusing your tiny enclave of English speaking cliques as being representative of the rest of the planet where English is spoken regularly.
>You could argue that it's been in debated use, but not common use. Otherwise there wouldn't be a debate...
This is just like people claiming "ain't" is improper English, or that you shouldn't split infinitives.
Any kind of "debate" is irrelevant because language prescriptivism is nonsense. There's no authority on high to say whether something is correct or not. If many people use a construct, it is correct because they are communicating with it.
> Former Chief Editor of the OED Robert Burchfield, in The New Fowler’s Dictionary of Modern English Usage (1996), dismisses objections to singular they as unsupported by the historical record. Burchfield observes that the construction is ‘passing unnoticed’ by speakers of standard English as well as by copy editors, and he concludes that this trend is ‘irreversible’. People who want to be inclusive, or respectful of other people’s preferences, use singular they. And people who don’t want to be inclusive, or who don’t respect other people’s pronoun choices, use singular they as well. Even people who object to singular they as a grammatical error use it themselves when they’re not looking, a sure sign that anyone who objects to singular they is, if not a fool or an idiot, at least hopelessly out of date.
Just for the record, it's not me calling you a fool or an idiot or hopelessly out of date, it's the former Chief Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary. The only debate here is the politically charged one with fake grammar authority that you have made up in your head.
'They/them' has been used as a singular for many centuries. It's the least-worst option in English to express third person singular. It sounds strange when someone uses it to refer to a specific person, because we are used to gendered pronouns in that context. However, it's used ubiquitously to refer to nonspecific individuals.
'they' as a singular isn't my favorite thing in the world, but it doesn't matter much to me, and it clearly matters much, much more to some others. So, I think it's best to just use what pronouns folks prefer (within reason anyway).