The policy, cultural struggle I'm currently having is we won't let the elderly die in peace, with some dignity.
The growing acceptance of hospice and euthanasia, during my life time, has been very encouraging.
But what happens when people are kept alive after they lost their agency?
My immediate family has two people in a nursing home. The sicker of the two is essentially a vegetable and is not permitted to die (feeding tube, other heroic efforts). The some what less sicker is also trying to die, but at least still remembers his own name, can return greetings.
If either of these two men were lucid, they'd be livid to learn they're still here.
There's a guy down the hall who hasn't had any external contact in 11 years. No friends, no family. He's a complete vegetable. It's horrifying.
I've instructed my family that when I'm no longer able to converse, when I need someone to manage my hygiene, to let me die. I do not want to become a long term burden on the living.
I'm so worried about it, I've been researching ways to kill oneself, should the need arise.
Anecdotes based on my experience with mother working as nurse in nursing home, and being American.
Remember the running gag from "The Golden Girls" where Sophia, the oldest member of the cast, was often threatened to be sent back to the retirement home of hell "Shady Pines".
(Another alternative of course popular in some cultures is to let them toil away even at 70 or more, and have them live alone and "independent", with the token visit).
These feelings are universally shared, but only visible to most in times of scarcity and fear. When economies are bubbling along in mania, people tend to lose sight of the eventualities regarding unsustainable societies. It's easy for people to rationalize their actions as charity, benevolence, and empathetic concern when they themselves are rewarded daily for vocalizing the whitewash and justifying what should be by what is now. When the music stops and individuals are left to fend for a chance at a seat, the full intention of previous actions becomes apparent as if malice is not something definable by planned greed and desire but puppetered unknowingly by a more clairvoyant self that protects its fragile present with the blessing of moral amnesia.
I do know for sure nursing homes are definitely used to "remove a burden." Dealing with elders at that stage of life can very taxing, and many people would rather simply avoid it. They may even, as the poster hinted at, dislike their family member. However, even then I don't think they share as strong emotions as the poster.
Whatever the case, I'd welcome research into attitudes towards eldercare. Right now, I feel like we're flying blind. For instance, I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever if GenX'ers (like me) would rather die than be warehoused. But no one I know is thinking that far ahead, having these discussions with their kids. Nor are our parents discussing this with us, now that it's our turn to be the care givers.
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For instance:
Family Involvement in Residential Long-Term Care: A Synthesis and Critical Review [2008]
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2247412/
"... These collective findings have helped debunk the myth that families abandon their relatives in nursing homes or similar settings to die in isolation..."
If you happen to wonder "what went wrong with this guy that caused him to become so jaded?" and contend that "he doesn't speak for all of us, I'm different!" well I will say it is very true that I am sort of an anomaly in current sentiment. Most people do not like how I end up deconstructing the world I perceive and view my analyses as ususally extremist, having getting kicked out (or desperate attempts at 'rehabilitative' disciplinary action) of nearly every organization I've ever been a part of from gatherings of family and friends to Sunday schools and churches, scouting, schools, and companies alike. I realize due to the repeating pattern the problem is most likely seated in myself, but if you're listening you still may like to entertain the idea that the superficial gloss we paint the world in vain attempting to heal our souls could in fact only be concealing a necrotic core. Maybe not out of actual belief in such a situation, but only to check due diligence off the list and set your mind at ease that judgement of our times will be favorably looked upon and your decisions were made with principled reason rather than excuses of being led astray by deception.
Sure.
I reprogrammed myself. I chose to be positive, optimistic. It took years.
Life is a gift, every day a celebration. I rejected the recurring debilitating existential terror. I now find joy wherever I can, however I can, and do good works as able.
Good luck.
On the surface, we like to say how we're providing care and have their best interests in mind as they "age well" and as we repay the debt of elders who took care of us so dutifully for years.
But in reality, the main usage is to get rid of very burdensome, cantankerous, and irresponsible leeches who because they left their children with a sense of hatred will not give in to the idea of putting up with their crap ever again, so let them rot all drugged up in a coma where they cannot escape as they watch TV in a urine-soaked room and play bingo every Wednesday night until they die off.
It's more a short-term fix for us though, a pretty typical American form of cutting off the nose to spite the face since national spending is sprialing out of control from dealing with the old and will become a larger economic problem. Ironically, it does force the hand of the young in later years once filial laws come back in full swing enforcement who will end up saying enough is enough and euthanasia legalization legislation will come swooping in to deal with this.