I'm not sure it is, it seems to be focused on making other people think well of you.

> If you don't like social events then that is an even better reason to want to be "better" at them.

I like social events, I'm just not really fussed by mass gatherings so much any more. Further, why would I want to be 'better' at something I'm not really bothered about? That seems a little perverse.

I don't care for oysters. I'm not sure that means I should spend time studying how to eat them better, there are plenty of things I do like.

> I don't care for oysters. I'm not sure that means I should spend time studying how to eat them better, there are plenty of things I do like.

Oysters aren't an unavoidable part of life?

Neither are parties are they?

I mean, I'm fine with them,I don't actively avoid them and I don't get anxious or have a terrible time. I just find them less appealing as I get older, especially when compared to having a good time with a small crowd of friends.

I've gotten way "better" at social events and parties over the years. It hasn't changed my dislike for them; I still find them exhausting and unpleasant.

I think it's important to remember that one's level of skill and appreciation of something aren't always directly related. I have found some things to be more enjoyable as I've improved (art, music, fighting games), but other things, like big social gatherings, remain unenjoyable for me.

You're missing the point he just stated, the goal he described is appreciation. Creating your own appreciation in a specific context is the aforementioned skill, and finding it to be exhausting and unpleasant is reflective of not having that skill.