> I share 1BR for $2000

You literally share a bedroom with someone you're not in a relationship with?

This was the normal case with most college students in the U.S. Dormitory rooms when I was in university (1980s) were typically a single room with two twin beds, two desks, and maybe a private bathroom, but often a bath shared with another room, or sometimes a large common bath for the whole floor. At my school, they were all same-sex dorms, but at other schools that was beginning to change. I was fortunate enough to have good roommates, but it was a struggle for other people I knew. This was an accepted part of college/university life. Single-occupancy rooms were rare and expensive. Some students lived in off-campus apartments (flats) or rental houses, but even in those situation it was not uncommon to similarly double-up in bedrooms.

Today, on-campus housing is often much nicer than what was available in my day, but it's also more expensive, contributing to the rising cost of higher-education in the United States. The education I received would not have been affordable to me then at today's prices, even accounting for inflation. Also, I'm grateful for the friendships I made with my roommates. We in the United States now live such isolated lives, I am actually glad I was forced to live with someone else, even with all the difficulties, during those four years of my life.

pretty much all dorm rooms have single bedrooms for multiple people (sometimes as many as 4).

When I was a student I shared a two bedroom apartment with three other guys- two per room.

That's bizarre - I've never seen adults asked to share rooms before outside of the military.

How does anyone maintain a relationship when you're in the same room as other people?

Literally every freshman dorm in the US has this arrangement, not uncommon, not bizarre, it's even considered part of the "college experience."

You do that in situations where that's all you can afford, like when you are a student.

My sister spent a year with a volunteer organization in her mid 20s, their living stipend was very small, so everyone lived "group home style" with 2 to a bedroom. In her house they even had someone sleeping in the landing area at the top of the stairs. They actually rented a fancy luxury apartment but ended up being cheap because the rent was split seven ways.

I've maintained a relationship during the time both myself and my partner lived in dorms, you (tactfully) make arrangements with your roommate and work around each other's schedules. You've never heard of a doorsock? We didn't use a doorsock, we duct taped the door locked if there was even a chance of a roommate coming home so they didn't walk in on us.

I believe most dorm rooms are like this for first year students across the US. Where I went to college, it was 2 to a room but some opted for privates. It was kind of odd to do a private suite - living with someone in a dorm room is part of th first year college experience, at least in the US.

I've heard of people who go on to share their room later in college and even into adult life. You do what you have to do. Almost all those cases are temporary anyways.

It's extremely normal for students living in dorms (and frats) in the US--especially for the first couple of years of undergrad. (It's certainly less common--though hardly unheard of--for grad students.)

> How does anyone maintain a relationship when you're in the same room as other people?

You take it outside? Why do you have to maintain your relationship out of your room?

> You take it outside?

But take it outside... where? Where do you have to go when you share a bedroom with other people?

> Why do you have to maintain your relationship out of your room?

You don't. But you don't have a private bedroom either. So where does that leave?

Maybe your partner has a single room. Or, as others have mentioned, you make arrangements with roommates to stay out of the room for a bit--and maybe someone stays quietly overnight and the roommate tactfully avoids paying attention.

Trust me. Roommates are very common in US undergrad housing and students manage to indulge in, um, romantic behavior just fine. If there's a willing participant of the opposite (or same) sex, life will find a way.

Right. It just doesn't seem something an adult in a relationship should really have to do.

I didn't want (and didn't have) even housemates after school. Maybe it's a cultural thing (don't really know the norms in other countries, see you went to school in the UK), but having roommates through at least part of your time at US residential colleges is almost obligatory. And, as others have noted, it's often seen as part of the experience of transitioning to college.

> But take it outside... where?

Deserted stairwells, vehicles, closets, rooftops, basements, elevator-equipment rooms are better than nothing.

Ask your favorite search engine about [sock doorknob].

The fact that I was a lab assistant meant that I had a key to the roof of the science building...

Also many students in the US have cars.

Go on a walk? Take them to dinner?

The problem isn't dating, it's sex. The US doesn't really have love hotels.

…not all relationships need to include sex?

“Relationship” implies “sexual relationship,” otherwise you would just say “friend” and bedrooms would be irrelevant.

With plenty of favors from your roommate to be repaid in beer at a later date.

It gets weird, obviously.

Usually sharing a 1BR means the living room is converted into a bedroom, or similar arrangement.

No, I’m in a relationship with them. But the quarters still feel tight sometimes.

You have vermin?

Is there not a pest control service about?

Good luck

The rats have been contained to the walls thus far, and pest control comes periodically but it can be hard to lock down an old house. Such is life.

Ever considered (a) cat(s)? If deployed correctly, they deliver those that they don't like the taste of to your doorstep, albeit often very mutilated (think with (part (!)) of the head missing).

That's a great idea. We live on the second floor, so the cat wouldn't have access to the outside directly, which is complicated. The other issue is the lovely vizsla that lives downstairs - she is scared of cats. But I'd love to get a cat or dog when my life is 10% more stable.