Make accounts to break the HN guidelines with will eventually get your main account banned as well, so please don't do that.
You can say that you don't like her public response, but the response of the organizers and inability to send a quick note before doing what they did places some of this on them as well. I submitted this in the hopes that someone who organizes a conference in the future can have the insight to ask before doing something like this.
And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go one way for people like this.
You really don't see the difference between a male being sexualized among a mostly male audience, and a female who wants to be treated as a professional being sexualized? It's not that hard to figure out.
We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is.
Honestly that just sounds threatening, it's not alright.
And yet you call upon him to act like an adult.
Anyways, I'd love to hear what defines a viewpoint as okay. Is it just the fact that it agrees with your viewpoint? I imagine you are some kind of authority on life who knows what every valid and invalid view is.
Tactfully tactful
You even say that "a male being sexualized in a mostly male audience" is ok. HOW IS THAT OK? You literally can't make judgements about what is OK or not, because you can't empathize with each person in each scenario who "knows it better than you" and if someone gets upset because reasons
The point is even if everyone tries to act their best, you have no idea what will set her off, or the next person. And you are supporting a society where this behavior is OK. That is wrong.
You're complaining about her "demonizing" people, but you decided to make an account to demonize her without a shred of empathy. What's your excuse for why this bothers you so much?
I'll break this down further: Of course she could be uncomfortable. Lets agree she's actually reasonable in doing so.
However, you don't know what will make one person uncomfortable or not. Can you? You can guess, you can try your best, but ultimately you have no idea what someone will find offense. Can you? Is there an algorithm for it? No.
Ok so that means that sometimes people will be offended by things that weren't intended to offend. Now we're to the point where the offended person gets to React. How do they handle it? Do they think of all the angles?
What I disagree with is her reaction. You don't seem to disagree. This is what I am saying should be changed.
Aaron- maybe her talk would have helped hundreds of people. All those people lost out. Could she have asked the organizers in advance to change the image? It looked like they these went out privately for approval. Maybe I mis-read that?
Lets assume that they never asked for her approval and 5 minutes before she goes up, the slide goes up and BAM she is uncomfortable and feels sexualized. Again, its about her reaction.
Others in this thread commented they would roll with it, be resilient, etc. This is what we, as society, should reinforce in each other. And yes, we have to make judgments about where the line is. I don't agree with her judgement, I'll state that clearly.
Think about this: I think she only thought about herself and PROJECTED onto everyone else that they would stereotype her. What if I were in the audience and saw the image and also thought "oh wow that sucks for her, ok i'll be extra supportive of her and try my best to not sexualize her".
So, when you support her reaction, you are actually making a negative judgement about everyone else in the audience as well. I'm curious how you think about that?
Maybe i'm missing another perspective. Please let me know and i'm curious to introspect my own thoughts further.
I can't help but think if she just went along with it, everyone would respect her as a woman in tech to a much higher degree because she would have actually been a woman in tech doing real tech talks. Now shes a woman in tech not doing tech talks. It's kind of sad.
If the organizers had handled it differently, it might be easier to see her as overreacting, but it's completely unprofessional to chide someone as acting like an adult in a professional setting like that, which probably only plays into whatever she's feeling with people not respecting her.
I felt you were condemning her position, which doesn't seem right. If my posts to you have been very one-sided and dismissive, that's because you were towards her claims.
Thank you for the more balanced posts and the discussion.
That would also be against the code of conduct and in poor taste. Don't measure with two measures - and neither should the organizers. Even not shirtless superheroes are overly sexualized, near-impossible male standards of asthetics, strength, and personality traits like superhero levels of patriotism and whatnot. Denying it's not problematic because it's men is applying a double standard.
This is a trend of hyper sensitivity that requires everyone to walk on eggshells and wear kid gloves because who knows what could trigger the emotional reaction. Really, think about this - what if a company tries to do something fun, like for halloween, and buys clip-on ties for the guys and clip-on hair ties for the girls, but then someone flips out saying "I'm a guy why do i have to be stereotyped into having a tie, this is so sexist! (and the girls can do the reverse - I want a tie!). It's all just nonsense from people who don't have any emotional maturity, really.
Were the conference organizers trying to do the wrong thing? Doesn't sound like it at all. They probably thought "wonder woman is cool, this lady is cool, this image will be cool" and it was actually an act to celebrate her.
Instead she flips out. Great, real mature. Then she posts conversations she had with them and demonizes them. real mature.
And about her point of being sexualized - what if a guy had his face photoshopped onto he-man and that guy complained about being sexualized because now his face is on a shirtless strong dude. These arguments only go one way for people like this.
There is a line, of course, and sexual harassment is real. But this isn't anywhere near the line, its not even in the same field. We need to send a message back to her that she is the one being drama and needs to grow up and be a 'real adult' like she says she is.