OP’s post is about those times when your feeling that you’re “above average” is questioned, by those times when facts strongly suggest you’re not.
What then? Quitters quit. That’s not good, right? Persistence wins, graft often beats talent.
But statistics also show the majority of investors (amateur & professional) hold their losses too long and sell their winnings too early. They failed to learn when to quit.
It’s complicated, for sure.
(“Fail fast” - is that quitting?)
Half of that equation is that I have health issues, so sometimes I am just too sick to work. The other half seems to be that I am a woman, so good luck getting taken seriously.
I spend a lot of my time wishing I were dead because being unable to get enough work is such a shitastic experience. So, you know, speak for yourself. The feminization of poverty is real. Working to benefit other people without getting paid for it is the actual definition of what slaves do. It also nicely sums up what traditional women's work is all about, which most women still do the lion's share of.
Getting taken seriously for a woman is apparently still pretty damn pathetic. I would like to get taken seriously without such qualifiers. Such qualifiers are always a huge negative. Women only awards are basically a dunce cap with a crown drawn on it to pretty it up. They are akin to the Special Olympics. The fundamental message there is that "you can't really compete."
The general cultural view seen in for example health care is that men are assumed healthy and strong. This is great if you are that, but catastrophic if you aren't. Treatments get delayed, problems worsened, and in psychology there is a recognized problem of not seeing mental illness in men. For women its not perfect either. While assumed poor health do generally lead to faster treatment and better contact with the health care for women, the doctors don't believe in actually curing problems so health care for women has disproportionation amount of only addressing symptoms. In averages, some treatment is still better than no treatment which is reflected in the statistics and increased life span.
This pattern show up all the time in gender studies. Men end up as majority at the top and bottom of the charts, women at the middle. The fact that you are a woman should in average give you an advantage at work in comparison to men with same health issues, pushing you towards the middle. Men can pretend and hide the health issue for a while (ie manning up), but its unlikely to work and carries with it some major health risks, not to mention that shitastic experience. In all its a bad situation for everyone with health issues, regardless of gender.
To my mind, this is not terribly relevant to the issue I would like to see resolved. I have done all that. It hasn't exactly resulted in accolades, so to speak. In fact, it appears to me that I am so competent that people routinely think I am just making shit up. They think I am an egomaniac, liar, deluded or something along those lines.
I don't like where this conversation is going at all. I think my time would be better spent talking to myself in a corner in the form of blogging.
Adieu.
Even though I understand what you’re saying, I’m being defensive here because every person’s case is unique and it’s not really fair to tell them to “man up”. We already know that, thanks, but most of the time it’s just not enough to improve the situation.
The best I can advocate for is shared sympathy. Not only for the physical and mental pains, but also for the massive amount of economical trouble it brings. Studies on income difference between groups with different health status is massive and dwarfs anything which gender studies generally find. That should bring people together in common cause rather than splitting us up based on gender, race, religions or other extrinsic attribute.
> No one on their death bed has wished they worked more.
Unless maybe you've personally interviewed everyone who has ever been on their death bed? I mean, if we're going to talk about things at a factual level...
The constructive point I'm trying to make is that this is shared cultural wisdom, not fact. I agree with it, actually, but we should not so quickly dismiss the alternative. I can see the appeal of living a life of singular purpose, especially if you are successful in leaving your mark on the world.
Maybe, maybe not. That's your opinion because the only source of truth here is your own feelings.
> You can be passionate about your work, but don't be ridiculous.
You can be whatever you want and if you're fine with that, then great. Everybody is different. Average people/workers/earners obviously think and behave differently than those who are above average.
> You're only here once.
...as far as you know.