What I find interesting is that both of your examples (and many others) are for software which controls physical systems, i.e. which is pretty well defined due to the nature of the machines it controls. Do you have comparable examples which aren't defined by the physical systems they interact with?
All the dancing around waterfall, agile or what ever turns around the problem that people usually don't know what their requirements are, are not able to formulate what their requirements are, but hopefully know when they see something it if something helps them or not. If we could just get people to define their requirements in all the detail needed we would take a great step forward, but looking around .. I don't see this happening in the near future.
I mean, just look at SQLite, which is a highly reliable software. They bought this stability with a gigantic test suite.
NASA writes highly reliable software, as do the organizations producing the software for fly-by-wire airplanes, so your assertion is empirically false. You are extrapolating too far from your personal level of knowledge and experience.