Allow me to introduce the Thinkpad X61 keyboard:

http://i.imgur.com/JitlIPa.jpg

That's a dedicated "go back" button between up arrow and right ctrl.

My webmail is unusable without Lazarus. I've taken to composing in emacs and pasting the result into forms.

With the appropriate extension this can be made seemless. Hit a hotkey get an emacs buffer with the current contents of input box. Write some stuff and save and quit. Input box now contains contents of emacs buffer. Annoyingly this requires a service that sits in the background in chrome because security wont let chrome launch such a process. In chrome you can use text-aid-too. Pentadactyl/vimperator can do it with firefox and others.

I don't see any control keys at all in that picture! This has to be a joke.

There are more languages than English in the world. Keyboard has 2 control keys, as it should.