they are excellent observations, but it seems pretty clear the team would be unable to implement them properly this late in the game, or worse unable to understand why they are a good idea.

Most of these observations are well-known to the Solidity devs. I know because I participate in many of the conversations around it. While it's not easy to evolve a language (the API surface is pretty wide compared to many other programs), Solidity is indeed changing and improving regularly, only limited by the available time of their contributors.

I thought they had enough funding to hire just about anyone.

I may have enough funding to pay more that Brendan Eich is making right now. That does not mean that he will join my project. Good talent is scarce regardless of funding.

Isn't the team also working on a new language targeting the same VM? If so, they might be useful.

There are lots of different languages targeting EVM. The (IMO) most promising so far is https://github.com/ethereum/viper

You can also just write bytecode directly. It's a simple stack machine, and contracts should be as simple as possible.

Things are not always simpler at a lower level of abstraction.

It depends what simplicity you mean. The Solidity compiler is very far from simple, so if you consider that part of the complexity incurred by using Solidity, then a reasonably small bytecode program might be much easier to audit. Consider that a typical smart contract is as simple as "if four out of these six addresses make the same proposal then execute it." You can basically write these things in hexadecimal without too much trouble.

Yes, that's definitely a good idea. I will go back to my magnetized needle now, I have some bit flipping to do in order to finish my task for Monday.

Speaking seriously, there is an assembly for Ethereum called LLL. I would love to see code that performs exactly that example you mention and is easier to audit than the equivalent Solidity version.

For a stack machine, Forth might be a great choice.

Can people outside of the Ethereum org implement their own languages that target that VM?

Yes. The VM has a public specification and you can implement your own compilers for it.

On the blockchain, the VM only cares about the bytecodes you submit, not the code itself.