I hate to be this person, but yes that would kill my interest. I'd be put off by her asking to touch me without any attempt at building a rapport first - that's sort of weird, just like it'd be weird if you switched the gender roles. And if she established a rapport, I'd very slightly lean towards wishing she hadn't asked. All things being equal, yes, I'd prefer she just initiated without asking (after establishing a rapport).

I don't mean to invalidate your point, but I have this feeling you thought that example would sort of just "make it click", and it didn't (at least not for me). It seems like this is probably a preference thing.

I am the type of person who shies away from physical contact unless it is with people I feel close with. Physical attractiveness while important, is not enough to overcome the fact that I need to feel an emotional connection to let people near me in that way. If such a person asked me without building a connection with me, I'd turn cold towards them.

That being said, I don't claim to think that I am the norm or that my case is the case for every person. It is definitely a question of personal preferences and should not be treated as a universal.

(Writing this as someone who is happily married due to a series of verbal checks and confirmations. :) )

It's not about completely killing my interest, but my mood would be slightly lessened.

Also, there are some things where consent works better than others. Asking if you can give a back rub, that works pretty find. Asking if you can lightly brush their elbow, not so much.

Your example is spot on.

Explicit communication is not a barrier for me experiencing submissiveness because the fact I consented years ago to my partner doing such things to me does not make it any less fun.

I'm definitely willing to forgoe some fun on the first date to avoid having it done to me by someone I'm not into or don't feel safe around (separate variables!).