As a person who asks, I can tell you that you're wrong. My spouse confided in me (years after it happened) that when I asked to kiss them the very first time, they thought it was kind of a turn-off and wished I had just done it. (But they said "yes", so there's that.)

As a woman who is submissive sometimes, I totally want certain people to do things to me without asking, but there are other people I don't want to do these things.

Explicit communication is not a barrier for me experiencing submissiveness because the fact I consented years ago to my partner doing such things to me does not make it any less fun.

I'm definitely willing to forgoe some fun on the first date to avoid having it done to me by someone I'm not into or don't feel safe around (separate variables!).

I've been told by one girlfriend that asking killed the mood. I'm sane enough to have basically ignored her advice for ever relationship since.