Let's not make excuses by blaming this on something like a widely-spread yet widely-derided culture. This behaviour is inexcusable, there is no excuse here. If you see something like this, as a man, you say something, and you stand up for your coworker. Otherwise, you lose your man license.
> you lose your man license.
If you want men to do something, just threaten their masculinity. It seems you know the infallible trick of emasculation.
Yeah, I think this is tricky. There's the individual accountability thing, which I agree with. If you are in that room and say nothing or laugh it off, you are complicit. But I think that the systemic misogyny is also something that needs to be addressed - the fact that the entire Uber culture seems to be saying 'this behavior is okay if you're a high performer' us up and down the chain and extends to people who aren't in the room where it happens.
I don't work in Regular Tech (I'm in a teacher-education nonprofit), so I'm not as exposed to the SV bro culture. I'd like to think I'd speak up and fight for people who are marginalized in my workplace. I wonder if I actually would. It's so easy to be quiet, laugh it off, and go back to your daily, if it's not you.