Though, I agree obtuse is probably a poor choice of wording, perhaps I should have said persnickety.
Or maybe just debate in a way such that the strength of your argument is not dependent on your choice of insult?
Intention can be inferred; when the stranger is being intentionally obtuse, they aren't being "open".
*Obtuse - Synonyms: stupid, slow-witted, slow, dull-witted, unintelligent, ignorant, simpleminded, witless;
Needless to say, I have no patience for those kinds of insults.
> Intention can be inferred
Sure. And when you're talking to strangers, your inferences of intention will be wrong more often than not.
"You're intentionally avoiding my question" - objective statement, not an insult and can be discussed further.
"You're intentionally being a dumbass" - subjective statement, an insult and a non-sequitur
Hopefully you can see the difference.
I think that's right, but without using the insult "stupid", it says the same thing. But an insult has no content, where as this does i.e "you are misunderstanding on purpose"
A constructive criticism can be 'insulting', but this isn't the same as a pure insult.
> "You're intentionally avoiding my question" - objective statement, not an insult and can be discussed further.
Is this not the same as "you're being intentionally obtuse"?
> "You're intentionally being a dumbass" - subjective statement, an insult and a non-sequitur
Because it uses the word "dumbass", which is an insulting label rather than a description of behaviour. But " intentionally obtuse" is a description of behaviour also, and is also as objective as "avoiding my question" in context.
It's only a non-sequitur if you misunderstand what it means in context. I think "you're being intentionally obtuse" would be fairly clear in context?
Those synonyms are from a dictionary, and they are all insults.
So I have to conclude that either:
- You have a radically different definition of "obtuse" which you somehow consider a non-insult and which is non-standard usage
- You're intentionally beating around the bush in order to avoid admitting to understand the difference between an insult and a constructive criticism :)
These are just my two hypothesis, but if you have others, I'd love to hear them.
The definition:
1. annoyingly insensitive or slow to understand.
"he wondered if the doctor was being deliberately obtuse"
> So I have to conclude..
hypothesis three: your argument wrt synonyms is incorrect. People may dislike being called "obtuse" but it is not, by standard, an insult.
Side note, but every time I see someone online accusing someone else of being "intentionally obtuse" I stop reading immediately. You know nothing of the intentions of a stranger who's obviously willing to openly discuss an issue with you.