Having been through an eerily similar episode as what you describe (but then as an LGBT employee) I did have an almost perfect paper trail but it still didn't help.

It takes an absolutely insane amount of energy to fight a huge company like this and even if you do everything right the chances are pretty good they'll wear you out first.

Best of luck with your recovery! It's been a really tough few years for me and I can't think of much to say except that I empathize with you and perhaps recommend this book [1] which looking back lists a lot of things that helped me get over it.

[1] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-...

Thanks for sharing the book. I am an employee of another big tech company currently going through similar process of HR not being very helpful despite raising grievance for last two months. The book is on point. With children and family, the fight is not worth the stress and permanent health impact.

Indeed. I wouldn't suggest anyone enduring months and months of not feeling safe at a visceral level if you also have the choice to disengage.

If you find a way to keep feeling safe, like I imagine having a good pro-bono legal advisor could have done for me, then by all means go ahead. If not, then there's also no shame in just moving on.

i agree about walking away, but i think by the time you think its a legal issue, its too late. its not easy to find a job when you have anxiety or depression - i tried a lot to do that. i also trusted the company, which i think is a fair thing to do.

> i also trusted the company, which i think is a fair thing to do.

I thought the same; but like you was mistaken in that. Looking back I've come to realize that, even though it shouldn't be, as soon as you get HR involved it's become a legal issue.

But yeah; my point was that if solid legal backing could prevent you from developing the anxiety and depression, like I think it would have for me, then it could be worth going through with it...

i will agree. from unfortunate personal experience.

thanks a lot :) sorry you had to do that. i will look at the book. :-)

Your contributions in this thread have been extraordinarily clearheaded, and levelheaded too. I'm a moderator here and want to thank you for that. It isn't easy to keep your balance this way when a large internet community is dissecting every grain of what you wrote, let alone on such a difficult topic.

thank you :-) that means a lot to me !