You could change his business to be modernized and sneak in some software development into it at some point? :) Just be wise about it, don't just break his company for yours haha, you might even learn a lot for your own business from and he could fund you once he sees how genuine your work is. Worse case you go back to programming with new business knowledge. Who knows you might even meet business minded people your age who could benefit your startups? Take a leap and if you don't like it after sometime, just plan to leave or reasses.
I think some of you forget that the rest of the world isn't New York/Austin/Bay Area. For most of us, just because we're competent programmers and have a pulse doesn't mean we'll get snatched up off the street. Programming is a very competitive job situation in many mid-sized cities across the USA and Europe, and networking is unfortunately quite necessary to both get a job and to advance your career. By far, the most successful programmers I know around here and those who network the best (I'm unfortunately not very interested in networking, and have suffered accordingly).
Also, once you hit around 40, lots of people who once would have loved to have you don't seem to want you anymore.
Programming was a great career when I was 20 and self-taught. Twenty years later, it's not looking so hot, even though I've very much kept up with the latest stacks and languages. Still, I love writing code, so what am I going to do, go into management?
Hell, even if you do live in one of those places you're screwing yourself to shun networking.
The tech industry isn't special in this regard. Being a good programmer is important, but if your only approach to career growth is reading job boards and sending cold resumes, you're going to hit a ceiling.
Anyway, many of us have family situations that don't allow us to easily uproot and move across the country, as much as we might like to do so sometimes.
You have a path forward. Take it, learn from it.
When I was 10, I got into computers. You REALLY needed to be thick skinned back then as nobody got any support from anyone. If you expressed interest in computers, you were ostracised as a freak. I was bullied at school for it more times than I care to remember. However, I never let myself become a victim or give up. That's where true grit comes from.
I'l be honest and say I think the whole tech industry is over-rated. There are loads of good (great) people who start out young and do some amazing things. I think it's on a downhill slide. The same happens to any saturated industry.
Stay focused. Don't be a victim. Take the opportunities that come your way.
Best of Luck!
Reminds me of high school where I chose not to learn coding on the side since another kid almost got expelled for "hacking". Sometimes you have to really choose your battles.
I have similar but not identical experience. I was growing up surrounded by people who owned everything from family type business to SMBs to large businesses and it was totally natural for me to start working at my family's company anytime I was asked to do so.
I had hobbies too, I was programming, I was playing games, but it was routine for me to spent between 10-20hours/week with my family in our business. I don't regret any minute of that, because I have learned so many things - I gradually gained experience in f2f sales, phone sales, communication, working in team, basics of accounting, working with other people and I can continue. Later, I was even able to to solve some of the main problems with programming - www, eshop, soc networks, crm, etc. That all before the age of 23.
There will never be a better teacher than my father and grandfather, because family based business has many important advantages, just to name few: you are allowed to do mistakes and fix them without any harm, you are allowed to ask for help anytime you need without bothering someone, you are part of the team from day 0 and you are even allowed to lose money into some extend.
From my point of view, you are late, very late. You should have joined your family business around the same age you started with computers. Just go and jump on that track as fast as you can. I'm grateful for the possibility to discover the nature of running family based company and scale it to some extend.
Gained experience in different fields will definitely help you to create better and useful software. Sometimes I feel like devs around me see the technologies(programming languages, buzz-worded tools, AIs) like the most important thing in every project, but in the end, these are just instruments which allows us to create products with added value for real customers and be able to recognize what is added value which can earn some money, is the most important skill.
Apparently, you are able to create beautiful stuff. But none of them seems to me to be either finished or brings some added value. Go out of your comfort zone, it will help you to see the World from different perspective.
Also OP think of coding as your hobby as well, because it is. Sometimes it might be hard to turn your hobby into work.
E.g I enjoy playing World of Warcraft. And I'd say due to some of my achievements etc am very good at it. But I could never make it my workplace. Its just something I enjoy on my off-time.
I think the same applies to you. Go work with your father and don't think about your past that much but what you are doing right now. When you get home after a full day at work and you've made the money you need to live etc sit on your computer and code your game or your bot or anything that you'd like.
P.S I think it would be hard for you to find a coding job other than freelancing or getting a job with a massive company. I got a coding job and I'd say even me that am not as motivated as you are find my self blocked sometimes. Obviously you get blocked when you are working for someone, they will definitely ask you to do something you don't want or find right, and you'll have day to day tasks that are not pleasant. You'll find yourselfs sometimes having no actual challenge etc. So judging from your letter your character says that you wouldn't stay at a job like that and in reality most coding jobs are like that, the freedom you've been given is limited. So I think best thing for you is keep it as a hobby unless you find a job you like, and yes go work with your father, great experience and bond with your father as well through that. Remember our parents are not gonna be there with us forever unfortunately :(
But, don't give up coding. You will succeed if you continue to practice.
Don't just write code for yourself or as an attempt to start a business. Instead, join a major free source project that you would use and find interesting by fix bugs and then submitting the fixes. Continue to do this and if you are good enough and like to work on the project enough, you may become a core part of the team. Eventually this will help you build connections for other work. Developing yourself is often more important than developing a product for a business.
Give that 5 years, then will have more experience to guide your business ideas.
This isn't the path for everyone. Some get lucky and work on the right product at the right time. But, if you've given it your best effort, try something else. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity.
I know that plenty of people aren't like that, but it is a real and possible outcome.
I'm sure you're a very good coder; don't get me wrong. But despite what you'll hear, there are a lot of them out there. If you think you're the best programmer around, it just means you haven't looked very hard.
Remember, software is never an end but always a means to an end. A bridge isn't metal and concrete, it's something that connect places. Software is about solving problems, and sometimes creating new bridges where no one thought to connect before. It's all in the service of something. In other words, stop learning how to make the metal and concrete of bridges and look up from your computer and learn what you could connect with them. (Yes, get off of your computer. Turn it off. Go at least a week without looking at it -- try to go a month or two.)
Learn what your dad does, learn how the business is run, and then find efficiencies and ways to make it better using software. You'll be making money and opening your mind.
You're 26 and good at software, and you're ambitious. That's great. But take a break. Step away. I have a sense that what's stopping you is you. Change who you are and you might just find the way that was blocked before opening up.
Since you're asking, that's what I would do.