The UI lags hard for me during common operations, such as opening the app, and sending messages; often there's a several second lag between pressing the send button, the entry field blanking, and the message finally showing up in the conversation w/ UI indicating that it's in the process of being sent.
And occasionally, yes, I out-type the app & phone's ability to process keyboard input. My phone is a bit old, but that seems like an excuse more than anything; I don't really understand why it's so hard for a device w/ a processor that measures its speed in GHz and RAM measured in GB to keep up with a single app whose job is to send text messages.
But alas, the phone world's opinion is that I should upgrade to the latest and greatest $400-$600 phone every 18 months.
Not only that, but when I've explained these issues to my friends they respond with the same response you gave, down to the 'weird.'
And the name is stupid. When I used to encourage people to use Hangouts, I always had to explain the name. Talk is a great name and they should have gone back to it for Allo.
UI? I write things, and they appear in front of someone else. Even my technophobe mom has no problems with it.
Tied to Google... well, yeah. But you kind of need some kind of 'account' for chat apps.
I remember when 'Whatsapp' came out and people mentioned that it didn't have a web interface. I won't use anything that I can't type into when I'm at a computer - pulling out my phone and t-y-p-i-n-g out a message is just a non-starter.