Noise starts from a clean state with modern knowledge of cryptography and modern cryptography. Much easier to understand and replicate, much harder to shoot yourself in the foot with.
TLS brings modularity and evolutivity, much needed in a protocol the scale of HTTP. In Whatsapp's case, Whatsapp controls both the server and the client; it is much easier to transition between versions because all bricks are under control. When you don't need what TLS brings anymore it makes sense to discard it.
As another example: Tarsnap (https://www.tarsnap.com/) uses spiped (https://www.tarsnap.com/spiped.html), a very simple yet powerful mechanism to build an encrypted channel. Its protocol and proof fit in ~100 lines (https://github.com/Tarsnap/spiped/blob/master/README). When you don't need all the jazz provided by TLS (and when you're lucky enough to be able to pre-share keys, which helps a lot) then a simple protocol is good.
You're right that it's not a good idea for generalists to pick up Noise and go to town with it. Noise isn't misuse-proof.
Nor is SSL. Couldn't an opinionated SSL library (supporting exactly one protocol version, one cipher only, etc) provide the same simplicity of use while remaining interoperable and reusing an already-validated protocol?
It's not the choice I would have made, but I am not as good as Moxie or Trevor.
The idea is more or less what you want, hardcode some known-good configuration for servers that can't or won't be upgraded every other month.
I would argue it's easier to shoot yourself in the face trying to re-implement/re-design something like TLS.
Maybe not all of WhatsApp's platforms support the latest TLS improvements though, thus it's easier to roll their own?