Of course, in moderation making excuses for others (or rather, putting a positive spin on their actions) can lead for an easier and more stress free life. I have been amazed at times when behaviour from others I have considered unremarkable has been interpreted in any entirely different way by someone else.

For example, a boss I considered to be trying his best is considered by others as an upper management ass-kisser who would back stab any of his team members in a heart beat to get ahead. This is working off the same information as I had. The person holding this view seemed to spend their days in a state of seething resentment, compared to my (blissful) ignorance. They would of course consider me stupidly naive!

> .. easier and more stress free life

This. So much this. Where a lot of posters here see "downtrodden victim of societal pressures", I see people who like to take the easier route. Speaking up for yourself is hard. For everyone. It's pretty much always easier to let it slide, not rock the boat, appease, downplay etc.

Making excuses can be a way to try and protect yourself. If you're afraid someone will escalate if you say no then you will try to tolerate or say yes as much as you can and hope that is a slower route to the escalation.

While many people are like this, it seems a bit unfair to stereotype all women as gullible.

The behavior being described is not what I'd call gullible, but I agree with you that it is unfair to stereotype women with the characteristic.

Was he talking about all women, or just the median woman?

This line of thinking could be used to justify all sorts of stereotypes. Not saying that's good or bad,but one could talk about the median woman, black, white, asian...etc.

Generalization is important. It helps us manage complexity.

When making generalizations, or stereotyping, it is definitely a good thing to talk about the median person.

For instance, Bernie Sanders gets a lot of his appeal by appealing to the generalized, stereotyped american public. Its an incredibly important skill to be able to make those generalizations in order to get appeal. When talking about "Wall Street" his message is not "this is a multifaceted topic". Instead Wall Street is stereotyped to simplify his arguments.

That ability to rationalize bad excuses you just described is an interstate highway with four lanes in each direction.

While I take mild offense at your characterization (#notallwomen!), I will point out that many women are trained from a very young age to make those excuses and not set boundaries. They have to hug the family member who creeps on them because else they are rude; they can't hit back the kid who hit them first and they're told to think, "Maybe he's having a bad day -- you should give him a hug instead!"

For fun, check out the time out chairs at this Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/listing/247648122/boys-and-girls-time-o... Girls are supposed to be nice and listen. Boys are supposed to not kick or shout. Be nice -- that's where the excuses start getting made. It's a hard message to get out of your psyche.

I had one of those gems too. I now have a deviated septum.

It was in my thirties, and she was hot.

When I realized she went into situations looking for drama; I finally told her to get lost.

I was drinking pretty heavily when I was dating her. I thought she was this misunderstood goth chick. Well, when I stopped drinking, I saw the sutle cues she was giving out. The little coy looks, while I was getting drinks. Actively stretching her neck in order to hear some idiot say anything remotely sexist.

I think she enjoyed the fights I got in over her. She just needed to know she was pretty enough to fight over?

Well--no one is fighting over her anymore. The labial facial lines are deep. The gray is comming through the black die. The magic is gone. Her fiery personality is now just angry, and bitter. Age is a leveler of that beauty asset.

I thought I was the least superficial man in the world. I used to laugh at guys who doted over pretty women. I used to tell girlfriends upfront, "I'm not one of those guys who momma will like. I wish I was more like your other boyfriends?" I thought I was in charge. Thought?

Boy, I was wrong. And I have a nasal cavity to prove it. She was an anomaly though. I never had this problem(defending thy maidens honor) with anyone else. She definetly had me fooled, or my drinking blinded me from seeing the person she really was?

While this has definitely gotten off topic, I appreciate your story. I hope writing about it was therapeutic.