tempor-schule

>but working felt much different because work was accomplishing something while class felt like it wasn't doing anything.

Thanks, this is a message I have seen repeated around here and it changed my view towards the internship.

>Doing new hire interviews, I promise you that many candidates interview worse than you. I started work with very low confidence, but interviewing other candidates vastly boosted my confidence. If you can conjure up BFS/DFS on demand, you are already in the top 50% of new grads. If you can do recursive backtracking easily, you're probably in the top 10%. Dynamic programming? Probably the top 1%.

Thanks for the info, as I am turning to some old Data Structures classes and that problem solving seems refreshing.

>Procrastinating work -> high stress deadlines -> poor sleep -> less ability to focus -> more procrastination -> more stress is an absolutely damaging cycle, and certainly the type of thing that is worth getting external help with.

This is something I feel, I am just stuck on a rather hard position where I am living in Germany (with a mediocre German level) and seeking a therapist is hard in my position, I am trying to do some tele-consultation in French. Altho I will seek IRL therapy as soon as I can.

Thanks for writing the message.

I am not gonna drop the degree, I am close to the finish line. I'd just like to take 1 semester or even a few months off and try to get from hating coding to a neutral place.

>I'll add that the professional environment might be a welcomed change of pace and you might enjoy it more than studying, so go into the internship with a positive outlook.

Thanks, I will try to look at it this way

That looks like a good path honestly, any advice for my future career ?

>i suggest thinking about the why behind the why. why did you get into programming? for me my why behind the why is "i like to make things"

thanks, this is a good clue

>btw: after 12 years doing software, much magic is also gone. I understand that the magic goes away as you get disenchanted and gather an expertise around a skill. I think I may have put a bad title as it is not that I wanna recover that magic as much as transition into a state where I get things done without hating my guts. I am stuck hating software engineering maybe as a combination of my studies, the pandemic and plowing through 4 years non stop of sacrifices.

I just wanted to see how people in my situation got away from it, maybe not to absolutely loving software again but transitioning into a healthy relationship to it

Ok I understand the message.

How would I go about building this self-discipline and grit ? And how would I go about developping while not ending in a burnout state in the near future ?

Thank you, I will look into this clue.

I think you may have misrepresented my message. I understand that not everything is happiness and joy in a craft, you need to eat frogs and force yourself through boring but necessary tasks. That, believe me, I understood. The whole discipline beats motivation but the problem is that why. You can force yourself to developp that grit/self-discipline but it can only last so long (in my case a few years) if at the end you find no joy on what you are doing. Grit is like hope in the desert, but you cannot live on hope alone, you also need oasis for the water inbetween.

>The idea that you have passionate about something in order to do it and to do it well. Idk why but in my limited student experience, this is true. The classmates with the best code, most experience and projects were the ones who were actually passionate. There is basically a 2-5 point difference between the people who wanted to be in the classes and the people who dragged themselves every morning.

I thank you for the time you took to write the message, and I see where you are coming from but it doesn't lead me to anywhere I didn't think before.

Thanks for your answer, it is reassuring in a weird way to see that it is a more common struggle than I thought.

>Recently I wrote a paper about loading a page in a browser that displays an OS GUI with full state restoration as fast as 80ms.

Btw about this, I am reading it and it sounds amazing [0].

[0] - https://github.com/prettydiff/wisdom/blob/master/performance...