M0T0K0

archive breadcrumb: https://archive.org/details/spoony-ultima-retrospective-orig...

Queuing up Spoony's retrospective while checking this out :3

I like this. I like it a lot.

Why do you say so?

1,000%. Every time this is brought up, proponents screech about what CSS can do and never about how CSS does things in the shittiest possible way.

And just like with protestant work ethic, downing coffees, sleeping next to zero hours, drinking a lot in front of others as top dog, its all worn with a badge of honor and dumb smile that hides the true horror of the many many hours you spent getting good at mangling your back to write CSS that works.

Indeed thank you, but no follow-ups or recent developments in other 'Racetams it seems. Modafinil is the only one that comes to mind that is atypical but has made strides in being a prescribed alternative.

I'm eternally annoyed that nobody on this page mentions the Racetams (Aniracetam, Piracatam, etc.) as potential alternatives to dosing speed everyday. I myself began to have heart issues from even just Ritalin (mild perhaps compared to Addy or Vyvanse).

Fasoracetam in particular looks promising but seems to be stuck in approval limbo:

https://nootro.info/fasoracetam-adhd-treatment/

This was exactly why I left my lucrative property and casualty insurance CSR job a few years ago despite making 26.00/ an hour. I was a CSR who while newly licensed, was also forced to do rote busy work for my superior instead of stretching my legs with billings and developing my own book of business, and really getting to know the claims process on my end.

I was expected to sit all day at my desk sans bathroom / coffee breaks, and never deviate from the set list of tasks to deal with re: mailing, endorsements to policies, follow-ups on mortgagee changes, etc. But when they finally let me attempt to do billings, I didn't truly understand the process after months of being forced to do mindless shit work, and of course messed something up.

And then when you fail one time, they justified further restricting you despite the "issue" being A.) instantly fixable, B.) not dealing with much money in policies (such as misc. articles), and C.) Never being pushed or expected to perform on your own by your own boss, who at this point was more interested in me organizing their decades old folders of policies to be digitally scanned.

When I was told I would need another designation (CISR) to be "taken seriously", which would've involved another year of classes in addition to busy work, I said fuck all of that and went back to college within a years time.

Perhaps I should learn this? ;)

Idk web assembly yet though, scanning to figure out how this could be useful for an amateur web-dev.

>Is a certain degree of extreme childhood trauma simply a fork in the road in a person's life that is never completely reversible? Does that kind of harm cause the person to be trapped in their own mind with the mental damage it causes? I personally believe it can in some cases. There is only so much you can do if you have the mental equivalent of your limbs being dismembered.

This accurately describes having an attachment disorder from early age methinks, and the fork being realizing it after examining the evidence or never realizing it and being stuck in a hell of self-blame.

An attachment disorder feels like the organ for interpersonal relationships is impaired or amputated, and it occasionally feels like having emotional schizophrenia, particularly when one is triggered.

>If my definition of "forgiveness" is giving someone else something of mine, then there are some people I will never forgive so long as I'm alive.

>But if forgiveness is just acknowledging mistakes and moving on, never letting them take anything more from me, then I've completely forgiven them instead.

>But that doesn't sound like forgiveness to me.

100% this. Much more succinct than my anecdote.

The article is wrong, then, IMO. And so is the author's main reference for the article, Ana Holub:

>https://anaholub.awakemedia.com/about/

Not a single PhD, degree, etc listed. A track record yes, but Pepsi and Coke both have their consumers despite anyone's individual preference over the other.

Sorry but hatred is a perfectly rational thing to feel towards an abuser. Letting it motivate you to take retributive action is of course not something to do if one wants to escape the cycle of abuse, but regardless: the body keeps the score https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/01...

I suspect a lot of my millennial peers deal with it a lot.

Many of us made "surrogate families" and group houses well into our 30's out of our groups of friends probably for similar reasons. A few grew apart for similar reasons (i.e. one or more people having un-diagnosed personality disorders and/or un-dealt with emotional trauma that hampers their interpersonal relationships).

Perhaps. I disagree with the general assumption associated with notions of forgiveness that this also means letting go of anger, however. Anger gets shit done.

I forgive myself for being naive and uninformed. Why would I need to forgive myself for someone else's actions and consequences? Fuck all of that.

I sleep more soundly with each day that I remind myself "This other person does not live in reality, move on". Long stopped having "panic attacks" 10 years ago. Coincidentally, right around the time I began to question the abuser's facade.

And you do want a relationship with these people. But ideally one that doesn't make you want to stab your eyes out constantly with ice picks because they keep digging up the past and weaponizing your own failures against you in everyday fucking conversation.

Peace be with whatever nonsense you're on about. Reason, rationality, empiricism is what brought clarity. Forgiveness is low hanging rotten fruit.

This.

So many here have not had to deal with extensive emotional trauma brought upon manipulations, oversights, ignorance, inexperience, etc. of a parent who was totally a victim too, but THIS DOES NOT NEGATE HOW DANGEROUS they can be.

My own mother whom was beaten and abused by an alcoholic grandmother will tragically never be capable of seeing her own faults due to the trauma that basically arrested her development at the age of 12. She has NPD and persistently bullied one of my sisters for being fat as a child, despite being the parent who kept feeding her McDonalds.

She would never admit how wrong they are to their own assumptions. She bullied and belittled my step-father when he had a medical emergency that forced him back into the family house after years of “mutual” separation.

I eventually figured out she had been lying to me for years and using my “blood relation” as an excuse to triangulate and manipulate my siblings into hating me, and me hating them, with disinfo, seperate sit downs like she was a fucking Mafioso, and other tactics a sick child would make in attempts to show that they “care”.

If you bring 9/11 up, there’s a good chance a histrionic anecdote that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand will pop-up and it will be about her, you will have to shut the fuck up while listening despite yourself being interrupted mid-sentence, otherwise speaking out against a narcissist is forbidden, and eggshell walking is the norm during rare get togethers.

She will instantly fall into victim and paranoid mode if challenged in any reasonable way: you don't really love her if you keep having issues with her behavior RIGHT?! So goes the maddening Cartesian logic.

And yet, according to this article, I should just “let go” of the following: anxiety disorder, binge eating / anorexia, depression, BPD w/ NPD CPTSD features (latest opinion I’ve received at least), the alienation of my family caused by the mother driving everyone apart, and most importantly the distortion lens that comes with being raised and essentially spoiled compared to my siblings, the emotional incest brought upon me when my step-father left at the age of 13 because I was the only man of the house and I guess that also meant hearing intimate details of love lost and her being unhappy and being treated like a therapist for the next 12 years until I was 25, wherein I became so maladaptiveley schizoid while dealing with the persistient and obvious fact that ONE OF MY CARGIVERS WAS ACTIVLEY NOT CARING AND BEING DESTRUCTIVE.

To her credit, she rarely lifted her hand to hit us; lot of reflexes and close calls that are then always minimized as “not that bas” and “you should try growing up in my life, you kids are lucky!!!!” which somehow justifies further incursions because shit, she doesn't drink and is disabled, she must be a fucking Saint in comparison to her mother, especially because of being physically disabled.

She loves to fall on the sword in a conversation about that all of the time. We have only the best parts of Mother Sorporano & Mussolini to thank for this.

She also “forgave” her mother and now all that my grandmother does is fill my mothers head with Trump garbage and YouTube conspiracies that I have to disassemble because she thought bleaching the skin would help against COVID.

So again, forgiveness is fucking trite. Anger about the situation as an adult helped me change my approach and saved me from a further path of self-destructive solipsism and drinking my trauma away excessively.

Anger as a kid was less useful and Was turned inside until another counselor at high school realized what was happening, which sadly didn't help as I quit the school in protest / denial of the chemical and emotional imbalanced brought upon me and my siblings by persistent emotional abuse and neglect.

In sum, she is emotionally manipulative and a vampire, and WHILE her maladaptions make sense in a shitty environment, at some point as an adult you have to take ownership of trauma or it will eat you alive. She will never reach the point of self-actualization and its tragic that she is the only mother my siblings and I will have known.

My sisters and father also deserved so much better than me being an unwitting victim and enforcer of her bullshit when I was too young to know better.

So I agree with any other posts that might more or less say: “fuck forgiveness.”

This doesn't shock me. It had a janky touchpad but loved my Inspiron 3452 with an i3 that I'll be replacing the dvd drive with an SSD caddy after upgrading the RAM and replacing the battery soon-ish.

Very nice thank you.

Ol’ Moneybags Mnuchin.

Because the crocodile tears from Repubs are false and only serve to make Dems feel bad, look weak, and capitulate to a shit sandwich for workers, unemployed and essential personnel and services while Wall Street gets dollar bills like they just time travelled to the wild west with a kissing booth sponsored by Pornhub.

Dems were and are right to push for real direct cash payments (lol fuck off with tax breaks and other wonky voodoo), expanded sick leave and unemployment benefits among other things.

Sources? Stop posting garbage without sources.

This has been similar to my experiences; definitely less liberal but not explicitly more conservative, more technocratic perhaps.

Also became increasingly atheist & materialist after a few times. Don’t move the mental furniture around if you’re already content with the brain-room, I’d say.

As an Athiest who has a few scrapes in the past few years with near-misses or almost dying, I tend to agree.

Yea but this is still retarded. Even by obsessive reactionary security means.

I sympathize with RangerScience on this one; the schism between successful individuals who refuse to acknowledge society's role in aiding their success (subsidies, infrastructure, taxes, etc.), versus the less successful who continually get steamrolled over for the former's further advantage.

Its obviously more complex than that, but I've met a few who don't help much in the former's depiction.

I would be highly interested in reading such a book. Any drafts and/or links available?

Wow.

Seeing this after Bill Nye using Ken Ham yesterday as a punching bag just makes me smile.

motokosgunatgmaildotcom. Thank you btw, this will quickly be in the mail or hunted down @ the local used book store.

What is the author of the book, at least? All I am getting is a bunch of religious books @ amazon :\