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Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by ScottBurson on Sunday August 02, 2015 @05:22PM (#9992528)
A couple of years ago I was in a waiting room at a medical clinic. There was a family of three there, a man, a woman, and (I presume) their daughter. The daughter was approaching teenage; she must have been 12 or 13 -- so, not a young child. I was struck by how casually affectionate she was with her father, even at that age sitting on his lap and being held. It was enough to make me wonder if something untoward was going on between them, but I'd be the first to agree that my having that thought says more about me than about them. Really there wasn't anything in their manner that suggested anything except that they loved each other.

I don't know if I could be as un-self-conscious with a daughter, at that age, in public. And that troubles me.

Good for you for not letting the SJWs get to you.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by ScottBurson on Sunday August 02, 2015 @10:06PM (#9993326)
Downvotes??? ... Oh, I see, it's because I followed the parent in using the abbreviation "SJW". It's not one I normally use; I will avoid it in future.

However. I have read in the news about parents being arrested for allowing their children -- 9- and 10-year-olds, not young children -- to play unsupervised, or (in one case) to hang out at a mall while their parent was at a job interview there, for what some busybody thought was too long. 50 years ago, one could never have imagined the police being called -- or if they had been called, actually arresting the parent -- in such a situation. Whatever label one puts on it, there has been a change in American culture that I think is not entirely salutary. Protecting children is important, but people are jumping to conclusions that are not actually warranted by the facts and nuances of the situation.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by jacquesm on Monday August 03, 2015 @01:42AM (#9994035)
In Canada we were warned not to leave our kid (9 years old) unsupervised at the house because it would be considered abandonment. I'm so lucky I didn't grow up in a place like that. By the time we were 6 and 4 my sister and I would take care of ourselves until mom came home from work. This included getting dressed, going to school, going back in the aftenoon. I don't remember a time when I didn't have a key to the house to let myself in when there was nobody home.
Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by DanBC on Monday August 03, 2015 @03:04AM (#9994209)
You don't recognise the survivor bias? You don't think that leaving a six year old in charge of a four year old is irresponsible and dangerous?

Ideally the "rule" is a guideline, and is only ever used as part of a package of information to protect children (who are by definition vulnerable).

So "left young children alone" gets at most a friendly chat with some advice about home safety, while "left children at home alone" combined with "arrested for drunk and disorderly" and "arrested for solicitation and drug possession" gets a friendly chats combined with targetted drug and alcohol rehab.

It's weird that CPS bother taken action in these cases. They're so busy with other cases where the need is unambiguously there.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by jacquesm on Monday August 03, 2015 @03:28AM (#9994263)
> You don't recognise the survivor bias? You don't think that leaving a six year old in charge of a four year old is irresponsible and dangerous?

Yes, it's absolutely terrible. But when you're a single mom and you have to go out and make a living it helps if you raise your kids in a way that teaches them to take responsibility from an early age.

My sister and I never thought this was 'dangerous', we walked hand-in-hand to school, crossed at the lights like were were taught to and never were late or went missing.

For sure the world was safer back then, today it may not be possible to live like this but I'm pretty happy that we had the experience of being trusted with some responsibility from an early age onward.

The survivor bias is non-existent, there were tons of kids like us back then and I don't recall any of them that didn't make it because of being unable to walk home from school or being home for an hour or two un-attended.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by DanBC on Monday August 03, 2015 @03:43AM (#9994301)
> For sure the world was safer back then, today it may not be possible to live like this but I'm pretty happy that we had the experience of being trusted with some responsibility from an early age onward.

The world was more dangerous back then.

There was more crime. Products were less safe (eg cars were more likely to kill pedestrians in accidents) etc.

> The survivor bias is non-existent,

The person most likely to harm your child is your other child. While the numbers are tricky we think sibling sexual abuse is about 5 times more common than paternal sexual abuse in the US. (This is from reported figures. There's a lot of attention on paternal abuse, there's not much attention of sibling sexual abuse, so we think that sibling abuse is less reported than paternal abuse even though they're both under-reported).

In the UK one in twenty children have been sexually abused. http://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neg... it's unfeasable that none of the tons of kids like you were unaffected by this, or were not neglected to the level of abuse.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by jacquesm on Monday August 03, 2015 @03:50AM (#9994315)
Indeed, that's unfeasible. But if you start reasoning like that the best way to prevent children from sexual abuse is to simply not have children at all. After all some of them will surely be victims at some point.

I'm not a big fan of the nanny state, I think life is full of risks and if you arrange society in such a way that all the risks are gone you will squeeze the life out of it as well. It's a hard balance to get right but I feel that going overboard on the protective side is not the answer.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by DanBC on Monday August 03, 2015 @05:27AM (#9994651)
"Don't leave six year olds in charge of four year olds" is going overboard?
Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by mcv on Tuesday August 04, 2015 @04:19AM (#10002203)
That development is absolutely a cause for concern, but as far as I can tell, SJW's tend to be the people fighting such injustices, not perpetrating them. It is mainstream culture that has developed some sickening tendencies, and those need to be addressed and fought. Though I admit SJW has become a vague term that's also sometimes thrown about as a pejorative, for some reason.
Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by jacquesm on Sunday August 02, 2015 @06:13PM (#9992684)
I still hug my son, he's 21. Wonder what people make of that, though he doesn't sit in my lap. (Though I could probably sit in his, he's easily a head taller than I am.)
Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by hyperpape on Sunday August 02, 2015 @06:28PM (#9992738)
I feel like the answer is "nothing". My wife and I were talking about the parent's example of a 12 year old girl sitting in her dad's lap. I come from a warm, but relatively reserved, family and found it a bit weird. My wife comes from a very openly affectionate family and didn't.

But from the reserved side of the exchange, I definitely tend hug my dad when I greet him or leave.

Re:Three Wise Men in a Bed: Bedsharing and Sexuality in Medi... by brudgers on Sunday August 02, 2015 @08:10PM (#9993066)
Clearly, you are doing things right.