For real, though. I can easily turn the free samples into my lunch whenever I'm there.

Sure, but you have to subtract out the expected value of your cardiac care.

You mean add in. By the time I'm old enough to be experiencing heart problems, I'm sure mechanical, less-failure-prone hearts are going to be commonplace, which means far less expenditure on maintenance costs and longer estimated longevity.

I can't find a link now, but I once saw a scan of a magazine article from the late 19th or early 20th century century that said pretty much exactly the same thing.

Heh heh. Well, I guess retirement planning is all about the assumptions you make.