The last part of your post is overly negative. Small town life can be much, much better than that... though there are numerous poor rural areas where your description would fit.

The first part is spot on. I'd say it applies to most or perhaps even all human communities. We are hive animals, and our communities are only loving and welcoming if you are "one of us." I have never seen a lasting attempt to transcend that. Doing so would probably make us infinitely happier, but we are slaves to our inherited instinctive wiring.

So if you don't fit in, the big lonely machine is better than the small lonely persecution of your origin.