Reading through the Disclaimer and Introduction, it seems that a 'How To Write Reference Articles' might be in order. It's almost as if the article is a parody; the how-to that admins sometimes wish they could point their users at.

A cute, maybe self-referential bit at the end, in the section "On Not Reacting Like A Loser": When this happens, the worst thing you can do is whine about the experience...