and stop signs and traffic lights and people crossing the street whenever they damn well feel like it

Don't all of these objections equally apply to driving in the city? Well, except hills. The link I gave, however, does point to maps for how to avoid the hills, and a route called "The Wiggle", at http://localwiki.net/sf/The_Wiggle .

I've never lived in SF. I have bike commuted in a city with hills. Low gears, go slow, and your leg muscles quickly build up to it.