$80,000 for cryonic suspension, which is most likely to be successful if you die of a terminal illness; which is most likely to happen when you're old enough that term life insurance is ridiculously expensive (but could happen when you're young, which is why to go whole life instead of just investing and then paying up front for the suspension).
The problem with whole life are the massive profit the company takes and the massive commission the salesperson takes. If:
A represents the value of a term life policy after costs
B represents the value of investing after costs
C represents value of a whole life policy after costs
In all circumstances I've evaluated but one, A+B comes out ahead of C. The only circumstance where C has a chance of coming out ahead from what I've seen is as part of an estate plan to minimize taxes.
If/when I get married, my plan will look like this: majority of life insurance via term, modest WL policy, disability income insurance, some index funds, and some stock of two or three companies that I know deeply.
What happens to folks who retire after a crash like in 2000? It'd probably be better if they left their investments alone, and instead drew some money from their WL policy. You could argue that their allocation should've been well tilted from equities at that point, but what if it wasn't?
In a perfect world of automatic 10% yearly returns, and diligent saving/investment, buying term and investing the difference (from WL) would smack the performance of WL. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Most people don't save/invest diligently, and the market isn't automatic.
-- someone who once got sold a whole life policy
Don't get whole life - it's generally a rip off
Yes, if purchased from a non-mutual, financially shaky insurance company, it's quite likely a bad idea.
However, when purchased from a financially strong mutual insurance company (Northwestern Mutual, Guardian Life, etc.), it can make a great complement to term life insurance (and can be beneficial to the overall financial plan for a number of reasons).
One wouldn't want to "fully" insure themselves with whole life (that'd be cost prohibitive and inappropriate from an asset allocation perspective), but again, as a small piece it can make a lot of sense.
Anyway, didn't mean to detract from your overall points. It's hard to put a specific number on peoples' insurance needs without knowing their situation, but the spirit of your points was spot on. Especially about "own occupation" disability coverage - which I think is especially relevant for programmers.
TL;DR on insurance: Talk to a professional that you trust, figure out what amount of protection makes sense, and get protected. Term life insurance is an affordable way to get a lot of financial protection for your family. Your ability to earn an income is perhaps your greatest financial asset (edit: assuming you have many working years ahead of you), so treat it as such. Think about protecting it with disability income insurance.
I'm heartbroken every time I read one of these deeply personal stories. The situation is already stressful enough - one shouldn't have to worry about how the family will keep the lights on.
[Source: I once worked in financial services]