This only works if you stick with every partner long enough to get a perfectly accurate assessment of them as a long term mate, that your assements are perfectly objective, independent, and stable, and that you know n.

The amount of ifs, ands, and buts in this caveat means it's time to defer to one of my favorite xkcd's of all time. [0]

[0] http://xkcd.com/55/

And then commit to the choice you've made: http://xkcd.com/310/

I always feel bad when I see these posts. I'm 26 and in a major city, but finding dates is a serious problem for me. My looks are only slightly below average (4/10) but my personality is probably the deal breaker.

Having been where you've been, may I suggest that the dealbreaker is that you're treating dating like a World of Warcraft inventory checklist? I wish someone had told me that when I was saying the same things.

FWIW, I do think there are similarities between dating and RPGs that I wish I had understood before

* you can improve your character: confidence is important, if you feel ugly sometimes you can do stuff about it (i.e. go to gym). Ditto if you are a boring talker, or if you are a poor listener.

* grind. If you are, like I was, a guy that has a couple hours on a weekend to meet a new possible date it's hard to find the "right" one. Try to increase the chances (go out more, frequent new places) and do try more.

This is fair enough and true. Back when I was in my early twenties and late teens I used to grind all the time (going out to bars and talking to women). And although I experienced more than my fair share of rejection/disinterest, I achieved plenty of success and abundance.

These days I am just lazily sending out messages on OKCupid. And when I do go out to bars, I almost never approach.

So the "grind" reminder is totally fair.

Okay, so I definitely treat dating like a WoW inventory checklist... (not sure what the next step is)

There's no secret to it. You just have to doggedly keep at it.

Cheer up, there must be below-average looking people with shitty personalities just like yourself out there who are just right for you!

(just kidding and don't take it personal - this one was too easy to pass up...)

Haha I had to laugh

Everybody gets what they want out of dating.

If you want excitement, you'll get excitement. If you want stability, you'll get stability. If you want to confirm an opinion of yourself as undateable - guess what, that's what you'll get.

Most people say they want one thing but actually don't work towards that thing. They just pay it lip service.

Try out my guaranteed chat up line: "Polar bear! It's just something to break the ice..."

Then laugh drunkenly at your own joke - that bit's important.

Worked for me - married over 10 years now.

How do you arrive at n, your total pool of potential candidates?