That's especially true about the ongoing startup myth of underpaying because the equity is supposed to make up for it - and then being stingy with equity. Sheesh. 0.1% of a $50M buyout is $50k... how many years of salary loss is that worth at the risk? And that's assuming that 0.1% doesn't get diluted down to more like 0.05% by later funding rounds.
Another way I could say the same thing that sidesteps your argument is that the more generous you are with equity grants, the more ruthless you need to be about firing.
So then why take options at all? Statistically and economically there's little incentive to at that point, especially if management is going to create this toxic ruthless "fire fast" environment.
In my vastly more limited anecdotal experience than both of you guys', companies are not just stingy with equity, but they are also overly stingy with salaries.