I haven't explained why I asked: I left after the first couple paragraphs because I found the lack of capitalization off-putting, which is why I commented on it.

I agree...makes it feel like a "sea of text" and difficult to parse.

only for emphasis. i've gotten a number of comments about that, so i may change it.

My main issue is that it's proper English. You don't start sentences or proper nouns with capitals... It's weird to me.

If the story is not about language emphasis, then the lowercase text is distracting from the real story. :)

I've seen some quite good examples of this in some things I've read. A poem I know was written incorrectly in order to force people to read it in a particular accent[1]. Also, "Feersum Endjin" by Iain M Banks has some chapters written from the perspective of one of main characters written in non-standard English[2].

    Woak up. Got dresd. Had brekfast. Spoke wif Ergates thi ant who sed itz juss been wurk wurk wurk 4 u lately master Bascule, Y dont u ½ a holiday? & I agreed & that woz how we decided we otter go 2 c Mr Zoliparia in thi I-ball ov thi gargoyle Rosbrith.

[1]: http://www.tomleonard.co.uk/main-publications/intimate-voice...

[2]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feersum_Endjinn

Then of course there are the classics such as Trainspotting.

the role of language in shaping our experience is a HUGE element of the story. i guess i read too much snow crash.

Having also read Snow Crash, I think you're extrapolating a little too far. The composition of words shapes experience, not small syntax choices.

Plus, I don't know that it's a huge element of a story (I can't tell if "of the story" means your story specifically or all stories). The culture shapes language, and the culture shapes the story. The language's influence on the story isn't anywhere near the culture's.

it reads more human and familiar, like a friendly IM conversation when you don't capitalise.

ya gotta use lines breaks smartly and break your sentences well though or it can be confusing.

Maybe. But even over IM and text messages I use proper punctuation and capitalization. I know I'm weird, but my thought process is this is supposed to be a novel -> novels are a form of formal writing -> formal writing should use proper capitalization (and punctuation, but this uses proper punctuation).