And yeah, I'm not a huge fan of php - or the ridiculous function names it is known for. However, it can be dead simple to set up for trivial tasks (which is about all od want to use it for).
Probably CGI would be better, mind you, keep everything static except what is obviously not.
Besides, the hosts I want to deploy on don't have PHP (S3, stock nginx, Github pages).
I switched our team's website to a completely static site a few years ago, they were using joomla (vomit) for essentially a broucher site that changed once a quarter.
I wonder if there would be a place for a 'json search as a service' thing - where you could upload your static content (as markdown, rst, txt, whatever) and then use their servers for full text queries which return a json list of matching page URLs and titles...
Plus, you can host it on different platforms such as freenet, gnunet, and have the simplest backup ever (`cp` is enough for having a functioning version on any OS of any kind).