It's hard to keep in mind the small but valuable beauty of relating to someone, it's often under a fat layer of "fakery" but it seems they all click, admit and understand it while I drown under this accidental complexity.
I can safely say I've never related to a single person I've met, I just kind of see through them. Sure I can laugh at your jokes and share stories but I still feel as though I'm in a one man gallery and you're all on display.
And what about after the fact ? I'm so anxious around people I can't reach emotional responses but later on I do feel for some, it's just something somehow too private, too sensitive.
What do you mean "after the fact"? I don't quite understand your post.
2 cents analysis on things: with objects I can try fail and try again with no fear of hurting (both ways) or trying again, and most things I learn is relatively stable, with people everything is very informal, random, ad-hoc, arbitrary, absurd. It's hard to keep in mind the small but valuable beauty of relating to someone, it's often under a fat layer of "fakery" but it seems they all click, admit and understand it while I drown under this accidental complexity.